Kalani Das

The EVOLVE Podcast

an exploration of mindfulness, spirituality, and conscious living.
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A Natural Practice

June 26, 2016 by kalani

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mindfulness-kalani-meditationHold what is but do not hold it to be anything.
Work with all that comes from Heaven, but do not seek to hold it.
Just be empty.

The perfect man’s heart is like a mirror.
It does not search after things.
It does not look for things.
It does not seek knowledge, just responds.
As a result, he can handle everything and is not harmed by anything.

- The Book of Chuang Tzu

They tell us to clear our minds, to empty the space in our heads, to focus on non-thinking. What tool will you use to reach this state, your mind? Will you think your way out of thinking? Will you clear your thoughts with different thoughts? How will you suppress the parade of images that seem to flow freely? Even if you could press a button and reduced the chatter in your mind, how would you guarantee that only the most useful thoughts remain?

If your mind is busy, active, and creative, isn’t this obviously its natural state? If you take the position that your mind is over active, that is should be less active, aren’t you also implying that there is something fundamentally wrong with the way you are? If your position is that you have a fundamental flaw, you will likely spend a vast amount of time and energy trying to change your very nature. This type of approach to creating inner peace and a quality life experience is sure to pose constant challenges, and in many ways, puts you at odds with nature.

How can you expect to create mental harmony when you refuse to accept your fundamental nature? The human design is the product of millions of years of evolution. Is it realistic to take the position that it’s somehow not what it is supposed to be–that we should all be different than we are? Even when taking the view that we are designed intelligently, is seeking a workaround to this design respectful or appropriate?

If your goal is greater mental clarity, harmony, and contentment, then you first need to gain a realistic view of the conditions, challenges, and resources you have to work with.

There’s a better way to create harmony within yourself and between yourself and others–a way that accepts your nature and embraces your ability to move beyond confusion into clarity, harmony, and contentment.

First: Accept the nature of your mind. Rise above the need to view your design as flawed. You are not flawed–you are human. You have a special type of mind that requires an insightful approach to creating inner peace and harmony. Accept your mind as creative, imaginative, busy, and prolific. Celebrate these qualities. Enjoy the richness of your imagination.

Second: Become an observer of your mind. Become curious. Watch your mind like you would the weather. Everything you observe is natural. Accept every thought and feeling as they move through your awareness like the weather moves across the land. Resist the temptation to think of it as anything but natural. Resist the temptation to label thoughts and feelings as good or bad. Resist the temptation to suppress or clear your thoughts. Simply watch the parade with a sense of wonderment.

Third: Choose and use the thoughts that serve your values, leaving the rest behind. Know that most of your thoughts are nothing more than repetitive displays of your imagination, creative possibilities, and improbable scenarios. Be amused, but not annoyed. Be surprised, but not afraid. Be intrigued, but not irritated. Be curious, but not confused. Your mind is trying to help you by showing you possibilities, giving you choices, offering you options. Let it make these offerings, then choose the thoughts you want to use to help you reach your goals. Not all thoughts are created equal with regard to usefulness. This topic will be discussed in greater detail in a future episode.

This is your thoughtfulness practice.

There is nothing wrong with your design you only need to become more skilled in using your mind, just the way it is.

  1. Accept the nature of your busy mind.
  2. Observe your thoughts without judgment.
  3. Choose to follow those thoughts that serve your values.

Take this practice with you anywhere and cultivate it anytime. Use it to create more harmonious relationships, both inside yourself and between yourself and others.

When we choose this approach for ourselves and cultivate our practice, our relationships and communities will reflect the changes. All positive change begins with you. It’s easier than you think.

Thank you for joining me on this journey, and know that–You Are Loved.

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Music by Layne Redmond, Greg Ellis, and Azam Ali. Cover art by Cameron Grey.

See the Credits Page to find out more about our partners.

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Filed Under: EVOLVE, Mindfulness Tagged With: beingness, clarity, contentment, happiness, harmony, health, kalani, Love, meditation, mindfulness, Mindfulness-based stress reduction, neuroscience, peace, practice, Presence, Spirituality, stress reduction, thoughtfulness, wellness

The Sacred

April 15, 2016 by kalani

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Artwork by Cameron Grey

Not until a person dissolves can he or she know what union is. There is a descent into emptiness. A lie will not change to truth with just talking about it. - Rumi

Some people will tell you that there are places on this earth that are more sacred than others. These words may lead us to believe that there are also some people who are more special or sacred than others. These beliefs often lead to valuations based in personal preferences, experiences, and which can lead to feelings of low self-worth. “This place is not special.” “I am not special.” “I need to be more like the special people.”

The truth is, if the universe is indeed a sacred body, then every aspect and expression contained within it is also sacred. The spirit of creation does not play favorites and equally supports the whale as it does the minnow.

It’s true that some places on the earth are more highly valued by people, likely for their natural beauty, unusual features, or historical uses, but these values are all placed upon lands by people. While there’s nothing wrong with making a pilgrimage to a place that one believes holds some key to spiritual enlightenment, it’s also true that enlightenment can come at anytime, and in any place, on earth. What can be achieved in one place, can be achieved in all places.

Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of believing that you need to travel from home in order to fulfill your spiritual destiny. Each of us can make tremendous progress where we are right now. Your entire life is contained with in the present moment. There is no other time. Anything that you can do, you can do now.

Where does one place end and another begin? Naming a place does not separate it from the continuum that is the earth. You are not contained within your city, state or country.

You are not bound by the borders of man.

You do not exist on the earth.

You are the earth.

Everything in the universe is the universe.

You are also the universe – and the power of the universe runs through you.

Look back throughout the history of mankind and you will clearly see that anyone, from any place, and of any economic or social status, is capable of great wisdom, spiritual grounding, grace, and love. Don’t, for a second, believe that you have a deficit when it comes to achieving a deeply fulfilling life.

Some may tell you that you need to travel to an exotic location or that you must wear certain types of clothing, sing or chant certain songs, make specific utterances, and position your body in specific ways, all so that you may ascend the spiritual ladder.

Participating in ritual often helps us feel more grounded, like we belong to something greater than ourselves. We search endlessly for answers, keys, and hidden secrets to enlightenment. When will we realize that everything we need, every bit of information, is available to us in this moment-in this place. It is when we stop the fervent search for something outside of ourselves that we come to a place of true contentment.

You may be an elderly person or a child. You may be rich or poor. You may feel strong or weak. No matter what labels you or others placed upon you, no matter what circumstances surround you, and no matter what you believe about the world, know that where you are you are right now is as sacred a place as atop the highest mountain. Know that the keys to your spiritual life are held in no one’s hands but your own. Contentment is not granted to us by others. It is your birthright.

Let a child be your teacher. Experience the joys of life by observing nature. Trust and follow your intuition. Most people are too distracted with their own suffering to be your guide. If someone tries to convince you that this life is some form of torture, wish them well, then prove them otherwise.

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Filed Under: EVOLVE, Mindfulness Tagged With: being, happiness, Love, mindfulness, Mindfulness-based stress reduction, miracle, peace, Personal Development, Presence, Spirituality, stress reduction, thoughtfulness, wellness

Life Is Now

January 18, 2016 by kalani

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Immerse yourself in the rapture of music, you know what you love. Go there. Tend to each note, each cord, rising up from silence and dissolving again.

Vibrating strings draw us into this spacious resonance of the heart.

The body becomes light as the sky and you, one with the great musician, who is even now singing us into existence. – Radiance Sutras

This reading, from the radiance sutras, asks us to live in the present moment more deeply by using our senses and allowing ourselves to be enraptured by the continuous stream of input we receive from moment to moment.

As humans, we are conditioned to identify with thoughts. We are predisposed to believing that we can think our world into existence. But with thousands of years of history behind us, many struggle with simple questions, such as, “What is the meaning of life?”

Wisdom suggests that we bring meaning into our lives as a conscious practice, driven by our in-the-moment experiences. Our thoughts and beliefs about the world, however fascinating or perplexing, exist solely within the confines of our own minds. What is real, is waiting to be experienced–and can only be experienced through the senses. Life doesn’t happen in the past. It doesn’t happen later. It happens now.

Life is Now.

We are conditioned from childhood to identify with our minds. Soon after we acquire enough skills for basic communication, we are given problems to solve, riddles to answer, and we receive praise for our performance. We learn to identify our self-worth, in part, by the grades we receive in school and through praise from our and parents and peers. Our ability to solve problems, to identify, remember, and figure things out, becomes not simply a means to achieving quality of life, but a way for each of us to quantify our own value, and the value of others.

When the ego becomes associated with problem-solving, the status and importance of thinking can easily move from that of helper to that of ruler. Instead of using our minds to bring us more satisfaction, we allow ourselves to become slaves to the very questions that were created by our minds–or the minds of others. Does the fact that a question exists mean that there is an answer, or is the question itself flawed?

Consider for a moment, that humans are the only animals that create puzzles to be solved. So highly regarded is the human ability for thinking, that we create books of problems, and even television programs, to prove our mental abilities, to ourselves and each other. We not only seek out problems to solve, we take pride in having solved them. What does this tell us about the need for the mind and ego to consume problems? Does solving problems lead to greater life satisfaction – or is there a simpler way–a more direct path to joy.

Is it rational to presume that we can think our way through problems of the mind? Is it reasonable to assume that we can use the same tool to fix a problem that we used to create it? Could asking a question such as, “What is the meaning of life?” be just another way to feed the mind a puzzle, one that has no absolute answer. Is there any evidence to demonstrate that thinking is a reliable way to enhance your life experience? Does spending great amounts of time thinking about life’s problems often result in joy? Consider those times when you feel most satisfied, joyful, or at peace. Are you thinking or are you experiencing? Are you planning or are you doing?

Spiritual teachers throughout the ages point us not in the direction of contemplation as much as towards our own life experience. Be here now. I am that I am. Attend to this moment. How should we find meaning in our lives? The answer is simple. Pay attention. Pay attention, not to the internal process of thinking, but to your surroundings. Listen to the sounds, Take in the sites, enjoy the smells, tastes, and textures of the universe at play.

People talk about mind and ego. Let’s just drop this whole conversation. Consider instead: There is no mind. There is no ego. There is only incandescent reality at play, beckoning. – Radiance Sutras

 

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Filed Under: EVOLVE, Meditation, Mindfulness, Self-Esteem, Spirituality, Thoughtfulness Tagged With: happiness, health, Love, lowering anxiety, meditation, Mindfulness-based stress reduction, peace, Presence, Spirituality, stress reduction, thoughtfulness, wellness, Yoga

The Nature of Thought

September 6, 2013 by kalani

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Splash14Kalani talks about the nature of thought as it relates to developing mindfulness and a healthy relationship with one's mind. The design and nature of the brain gives rise to an internal 'storm' of thoughts that are interconnected, dynamic, and have the ability to consume our awareness. Kalani describes ways to remain centered in the present moment, while allowing the mind to fulfill its nature. A healthy relationship with your mind is a KEY to developing a strong Thoughtfulness Practice and an Enlightened life.

This podcast features music by Azam Ali, Greg Ellis and Layne Redmond & Tommy Brunjes.

 

 

 

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Filed Under: EVOLVE, Mindfulness, Neuroscience, Spirituality, Stress Reduction Tagged With: happiness, health, Love, meditation, mindfulness, Mindfulness-based stress reduction, miracle, Presence, Spirituality, thoughtfulness, wellness

Peace of Mind

September 1, 2013 by kalani

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Splash9Kalani discusses the nature of the mind and outlines specific practices for creating a peaceful and powerful relationship with it. Learn more about how to use your mind to navigate the world without getting lost in a sea of thought. Learn to foster quality thoughts and actions that are in alignment with your interests, values, and goals.

This podcast features music by Azam Ali, Greg Ellis and Layne Redmond & Tommy Brunjes.

 

 

 

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Filed Under: EVOLVE, Mindfulness, Spirituality, Stress Reduction Tagged With: happiness, health, joy, Love, meditation, Mindfulness-based stress reduction, peace, Presence, Spirituality, stress reduction, wellness

Spirituality

August 23, 2013 by kalani

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Splash17Kalani talks about developing a spiritual practice, which is a personal and unique approach to increasing one's own experience of oneness, contentment, and joy. This talk is about finding new ways to approach your spiritual practice while fostering a more inclusive and supportive environment for the diverse range of practices that make up the global spiritual community.

This podcast features music by Azam Ali, Greg Ellis and Layne Redmond & Tommy Brunjes.

 

 

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Filed Under: EVOLVE, Mindfulness, Spirituality, Thoughtfulness Tagged With: happiness, health, joy, Love, meditation, mindfulness, Mindfulness-based stress reduction, neuroscience, peace, Presence, Spirituality, stress reduction, thoughtfulness, wellness

The Eternal Moment

May 27, 2013 by kalani

Some call it "clock time." The Greeks called it 'chronos,' which is a way of measuring time by noting movement. The movement could be the sun passing overhead, the sand in an hourglass gently falling, or the metronomic tick-tock of the hands on a clock. There are many ways humans measure time, but the fact remains that there is only one moment - this one.

Because we have the concept of passing time, we also have the concept of past and future. We learn to think in terms of history and the future. "What we did" or "What we will do." These are common thoughts and even expected. It's interesting to pause and consider that, although we can think about the past and future, we can only ever be in the present.

It's impossible to be in the past or the future. When we think about the past, we are making a guess as to what actually happened. We're not ever sure because we can't know everything that is happening from moment to moment. We piece the past together from bits of information that we gather - in the present.

The same holds true for the future. We guess as to what will be coming up. We're hardly ever right and when the present is not how we imagined it, we often are convinced that something went wrong. "This isn't how things are supposed to be!" "I thought they would be different - and now I'm upset!"

Yes, we can think of all kinds of scenarios to fill our need to know what happened in the past and what will be happening in the future. The reality is, these are always guesses. Our thoughts about everything, even the present, are collections of ideas, hunches, guesses, approximations, partial truths, etc. We don't really 'know' what is happening, we just imagine what is happening - or what happened or will happen.

Accepting that our life experience is contained within a 'range of possibilities' can be liberating. It helps us accept that there are always many ways to view a situation, for example. It helps us accept that others might have a different idea about what is 'happening.' It helps us remember that the past, present, and future are all open to interpretation, flexible and able to be shaped by our perspective and orientation.

Most of all, the idea of a flexible reality helps us remain open to the many possibilities that IS the world we live in. It reminds us that we use our minds to conceive of the world, not to 'know' it. Knowing is affected by the 'knower.' Being, on the other hand, is simply experiencing the sensations of life, not trying to shape a particular reality, but simply sensing that you are part of something - in relationship with everything.

A practice of sensing your own life experience in the eternal moment, not according to any ideas of the 'passage of time,'  is one way to broaden your presence. Find yourself in this moment, over and over again. When your mind wanders to the past or future, simple say to yourself, "I'm thinking of the past (or future) and I am doing it now." This simple thought helps to acknowledge the activity of the mind so you (not your mind) can refocus on your current experience of being.

We never try to suppress the activity of the mind. Thought suppression is very difficult for most people and not necessary for achieving presence. Accept that your mind can be very 'busy' and produce a great amount of thoughts. This is not a problem unless you decide that it is. Let your mind do what it does and simply choose which of your many thoughts to follow, or not.

As you begin to notice and accept your thoughts, you might find that you do not repeat the same thoughts as much. If you do repeat thoughts (and most people do) it's OK. Allow the mind to work as hard as it wants without getting swept up in its activity. You are always able to connect with the present moment and experience the beauty and peace that surounds and flows through you.

Blessings to you my friends,

-Kalani

 

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Filed Under: Mindfulness, Spirituality, Stress Reduction, Thoughtfulness Tagged With: lowering anxiety, mindfulness, Mindfulness-based stress reduction, Presence, thoughtfulness, wellness

Softening Sadness

February 7, 2012 by kalani

I recently returned from a two-week teaching and lecturing trip to Australia. After one of the sessions a woman approached me and asked if I had a few minutes to talk.   she confided in me that,  although she does do things from which she gains a lot of enjoyment, she often feels sad and isn't sure exactly why. She went on to tell me that she sometimes gets frustrated because the reason for the sadness is not clear, and that fact sometimes adds to the frustration and creates even more sadness.

During the consultation, we talked about the thoughtfulness practice of 'feeling the feeling.'  In this practice, the purpose is to remove any resistance from receiving the messages that your subconscious or unconscious body/mind is attempting to send you through the conduit of emotions and feelings. Ironically, it is often our resistance to undesirable feelings that produces the majority of our suffering,  this concept is at the core of many spiritual teachings, primarily Buddhism.

As I asked her questions about the feeling and about what she was doing about it, she did seem to understand the dynamics in which she was engaging. She seemed to acknowledge that, even though she couldn't identify the reason for the sadness, she was unable to prevent the feeling from taking over.

My recommendation was that she set aside some time, when she could focus and be undisturbed, to allow herself to feel the feeling and even invited  it into her being, thereby allowing it to flow in and through her. I explained that it is often our resistance to negative feelings that creates the dynamic of tension–two forces working in opposition to each other.

I recommended that she focus on the feeling and try to identify where it manifests in her body. We often feel sadness in our chest and/or abdomen, although not exclusively so. I invited her to explore the feeling and to ask it, as you would a child,  “What can I do for you?” or  “What's wrong?”  By meeting the feeling of sadness with compassion, we can tear down the system of tension and suffering, opening up a dialogue with ourselves that can lead to greater peace and well-being.

By the end of our conversation her mood seemed quite a bit brighter. She was smiling and had a certain sense of lightness about her. She assured me she would try the thoughtfulness practice, even if, and especially when, she wasn't in the mood to do so!

It's completely understandable, but in today's world of Linkedin, Facebook, and Twitter, that one would feel the pressure to always be  “up” and “cheerful.”  The reality is, everyone feels sad some of the time–for various reasons. There's nothing wrong with feeling sad. In fact, feelings always have a purpose–to inform us of what might be going on in our subconscious. It's only when we are unable to cope with these feelings and when they cause us further suffering that we need a more functional approach.

The next time you're feeling sad for 'no reason,'  try using the thoughtfulness practice of “feeling the feeling” and see if it makes a difference. The only thing you might have to lose is a little bit of your sadness.

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Filed Under: Mindfulness, Self-Esteem, Stress Reduction, Thoughtfulness Tagged With: lowering anxiety, MBSR, Mindfulness-based stress reduction, stress reduction, thoughtfulness

Giving Peace

December 15, 2011 by kalani

It's often the case that we reflect on ways to help each other during the Holidays, whether it's donating some time to help serve meals to those in need, running errands for someone who is homebound, or simply donating our time to be with people who could use some company, such as those in retirement homes or hospitals.

Giving the gift of support, through physical or personal donations is a wonderful way to create a sense of connectedness with others and foster community on all levels. Gifts of this kind can take the form of specific events, such as making a special trip to a senior center to sing holiday songs with the residents, or helping to collect and distribute gifts through your community organization.

Gifts of Peace can also take a much smaller, more subtle form. They can be given in very small packets of attention, listening, and validating others. When someone approaches you with a worried look on their face, tension in their voice, and anxiety in their mind, listening with attention and compassion might be all that is needed to open up their hearts. This simple act can be one form of mindfulness-based meditation. When those around us are nurtured, we feel nurtured as well.

Embodying tenderness in all that you do, can have ripple effects that extend into the world, well beyond the physical limits of your immediate world. Walking through the world with a smile on your lips and openness in your eyes can affect everyone you touch in ways that are profound. Giving this kind of peace is not something that is usually noticed, but it is felt.

As you drive to your appointments this holiday season, think of every driver as your dear friend. Perhaps they need to get somewhere quickly, which is why they need to speed around you or get into that parking spot. Let them. Create space for peace by allowing others to flow around you. See them as members of your family who might need more understanding and support at this time. Give them the peace you carry in your heart. You will never run out!

One of the best ways to give peace, is to not take things personally when something unexpected or undesirable happens. Keep in mind that you have expectations. (We all do). But it is only when you compare your expectations with what actually happens that you might become frustrated and upset. When we accept the world as it is, we will never be upset - because we are always starting from the situation that is. This does not mean that we do not strive to improve, only that we are not caught up in comparing what we wanted to have happen with what is happening, which is pointless and often stressful.

Give peace by listening to someone talk without judging their circumstances or trying to 'fix' their problems. Listen with an open heart and mind, making eye contact and finding the bright spots in what the share. Often, people focus on their problems, but it is impossible for someone to know what his problems are unless he also has some idea of that the solutions! (otherwise he would simply accept the situation as normal).

Give peace by not engaging in positions of tension. Someone might say something with which you disagree. That's OK. Is it important to defend the opposite position at that time? What is more important, to be 'right' or to be at peace? If you can, allow others to have their opinions and focus on what you both enjoy. Celebrate the good that you both see in the world. Often, when we remove our 'problems' we find love - for love is at the core of creation. Love is the heartbeat of the universe - the 'one song' that we all sing each day.

Give peace to yourself by having compassion for the child inside you that is doing the best he/she can. Allow yourself to make mistakes and laugh at yourself -because you know that life is about trying things, making discoveries, and exploring the boundaries of the imagination. Life is not a performance. It is an adventure - and adventures are marked by surprises. Enjoy them and be grateful.

Give peace to the planet by being a stuart of all your relations. Take care of every being you encounter, every form of life, and every phase of life. See the stages of the manifested world as one dance, moving in harmony, you with your place and everything else with its place, interconnected and interdependent. Know that, by offering peace, you are creating peace for yourself. Be peaceful and the world will reciprocate.

Blessings to you this holiday season.
May you be peace!

-Kalani

 

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Filed Under: Mindfulness, Spirituality, Stress Reduction, Thoughtfulness Tagged With: MBSR, mindfulness, Mindfulness-based stress reduction, neuroscience

Moving Beyond Sorrow

December 11, 2011 by kalani

The dictionary defines 'Sorrow' as: 1) deep distress, sadness, or regret especially for the loss of someone or something loved and 2) resultant unhappy or unpleasant state.

In an earlier post called 'The Functional Mind,' I talked about how the primary functions of the mind is to identify, categorize, associate, store and retrieve data (information about the world, both external and internal).

Looking at the feeling of sorrow through the lens of the Thoughtfulness Practice, we can immediately see that a state of sorrow depends on us first categorizing something as a 'loss,' secondly as associated with something 'loved,' and most importantly - the thoughts that lead to this state must be retrieved over and over again.

We've all felt the deep sadness that comes from experiencing the loss of something we hold dear. It might have been a friend, family member or a pet. It could have been a quality that was 'lost' such as tenderness or innocence.

Whatever it was, the 'loss' is experienced as an emotion that often manifests throughout the body as a feeling of both emptiness and heaviness. We might experience sensations of tension coupled with feelings of helplessness. Sorrow is a powerful feeling and it can weigh us down and drain us of energy.

Clearly, there are times when it is appropriate and, some might argue, necessary to allow one's self to enter into a state of sorrow. In times of great loss, sorrow serves to slow us down, provide a space for mourning, reflection, and the healing process to begin. This is normal and when appropriate, sorrow can be exactly what we need to process an event in our lives.

The key to living an enlightened life, is to know when and how to move beyond sorrow and resume the natural state of bliss and gratitude that is the birthright of every living being. As 'universal beings' we are wired for bliss and healthiest when manifesting joy. We are most productive when we are happy and looking forward to the many gifts each day brings.

Let's see how we can use the teachings of the Thoughtfulness Practice to move beyond sorrow, when the time is right.

Sorrow, as a condition, depends largely on the re-experiencing of the feeling of loss. In most cases, the 'loss' is a change from one circumstance to another (i.e., My pet was here and now he/she is gone). In order to experience the sorrow, we must re-mind ourselves of the loss and continue to wish that the current condition was different than it is.

We know that the mind's job is to store and retrieve data, but we also know that it is our perspective and orientation that determines the quality of that information. 'Quality" in this case refers to the relevance and usefulness of the thought as it pertains to our life.

When we take an objective look at a 'sorrow-producing' thought, we can examine it for its quality by asking the questions:

  1. Is this thought true in its timeliness?
  2. Does maintaining this thought serve my highest good?
  3. Am I willing and ready to let go of this thought/feeling?

Is this thought true in its timeliness?

Sometimes we hold on to an event, thought, or feeling long after the event has past. We continue to re-mind ourselves of it until it becomes almost hard-wired into our daily life. We change our perspective to accommodate the thought and can even change our entire orientation in life. In some cases, our mood suffers, we feel sad, our bodies ache, we're unmotivated and even angry. In extreme cases we might experience depression and feelings of helplessness.

The KEY is to consider the timeline and be realistic about the event, which may have happened months and even years before. Even though we can remember it, is it true in this moment? Are those events happening now? Chances are, if we're being honest with ourselves, the answer is no. We can help move beyond sorrow, by admitting that it is us who are continuing to pull the event into the present, through the use of our mind. This is a mis-use of the mind. The first step is to notice that this is happening.

Does maintaining this thought serve my highest good?

If you were going to recommend that someone else either use or not use the 'sorrow-producing thought,' what would you tell them? Be honest. Does pulling the thought and feeling into the present serve you in your highest good? Does it help you feel more like yourself or something else? If it is not serving you, then it makes sense to change your perspective and focus on what does. You can do this by simply observing the thought, feeling the feeling, and not reacting negatively to the presence of the thought. (See the article "Feeling the Feeling.)

We can allow a thought without having a reactive experience to it. When we provide compassion to our own sorrow, we begin to heal - we begin to understand that it is not the event that is causing us to suffer, but our resistance to the change in our life situation. We sometimes become bound to a feeling and the orientation around that feeling. We might think that if we are not sad that we are not honoring the person or thing that we loved, but this thinking only hurts ourselves and those who are with us. In fact, we can honor those we loved by living a bright and joyful life.

When a though does not align with your highest good, you have the option of acknowledging that. When you truly acknowledge that you could be spending more time with your quality thoughts, you will reclaim your highest good and use your mind in ways that lead to productively and happiness.

Am I willing and ready to let go of this thought/feeling?

As mentioned above, we sometimes hold on to a thought or feeling for various reasons. We may actually become attached to feelings of sadness and sorrow to the point where they become part of who we are. You can sometimes see this in people who have suffered great loss. They seem to carry the thought and feelings of sorrow with them everywhere, never letting go, always focused on a feeling of loss and suffering. It's not as important to know why people do this as it is to know that it is always a choice.

In order to allow a feeling to move beyond your conscious mind, you must be willing to allow that to happen, which means you must be willing to let the associations go as well. This might feel like abandoning the thing you loved, but in truth, it is honoring all that is good in life. Have you ever met someone who suggested to you that, should they pass on before you, they would want you to feel sorrow for a long time? Of course not.

Once the sorrow has served its purpose, once the appropriate space has been created and rituals for healing have been practiced, once the person, pet or thing has been acknowledged and respects have been paid, the focus can return to the present moment - not to the future, but the here and now.

Letting go of sorrow does not mean forgetting about people or what they meant. It means returning to a state of gratitude and wonderment for each and every moment that is your life. It means allowing yourself to be present in your life and not stuck in the past or future.

We can move beyond sorrow when we acknowledge that our mind is a tool for solving problems - not producing them. When we are able to manage our thoughts in a way that produces quality, we can release feelings of sorrow. By embracing the wonder and joy that is inherent in each moment, we focus on appreciation for the gifts of life, rather than what we think was taken from us.

Each day is a gift. That's why it's called the present. (Anon)

What do you think of this Thoughtfulness Practice?

Have you found ways to move beyond sorrow?

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Filed Under: Mindfulness, Productivity, Self-Esteem, Stress Reduction, Thoughtfulness Tagged With: health, lowering anxiety, mindfulness, Mindfulness-based stress reduction, neuroscience, stress reduction, wellness

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Categories

Teachings

  • Everlasting Contentment
  • Good News and Neurons
  • Associations
  • A Natural Practice
  • Surrender to Beauty
  • Staying Centered
  • The Truth
  • The Enlightening Path
  • Ohana – The Key to Kindness
  • Life is Sensational
  • The Sacred
  • Anger
  • Judge Not
  • Life Is Now
  • Calm in the Storm
  • Experience Being
  • Liberating the Soul
  • The Nature of Thought
  • Peace of Mind
  • Seeing as New
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