Kalani Das

The EVOLVE Podcast

an exploration of mindfulness, spirituality, and conscious living.

Taking Note

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When you're reviewing conversations that you had with other people, or thinking about conversations that you will have with them, who are you talking to? In your mind, you're having a conversation with the other person, but in reality, everything that they “say” and “do” is being projected by your mind. This is self-evident and with the exception of those who may be delusional, most people would agree that they are creating all of the “conversations” that occur in their own minds.

We all engage in these types of conversations and there's nothing out of the ordinary about this. This type of mental activity is evidence of the helping nature of the mind. As I have previously discussed, the mind is always looking for puzzles to solve and ways to help improve our situation. Internal dialoguing only becomes an issue for someone when they lose their perspective and get swept away in their own mind flow.

If your internal dialoguing is causing you to experience feelings of anxiety, such as increased heart rate, rapid shallow breathing, sweating or nervousness, it may help you to remind yourself of the process in which you are engaging–at the moment that you are doing it. Most people tend to accept internal dialogue as part of everyday life. As I mentioned, there's nothing out of the ordinary about having internal dialogue. Sometimes; however, internal dialoguing can result in a decrease in the quality of our current experience by distracting us from our “real-time” life.

Becoming aware of the quantity and the quality of our internal dialogue is an important first step to improving the overall quality of your life experience. A very simple action, and something that anyone can do at any time, is to identify when you are having internal dialogue by pausing to take note. All you need to do is say to yourself “I'm dialoguing with myself." There is no judgment in this statement. The purpose is to simply identify your current state and bring it to your attention in an objective way.

By using the statement “I'm dialoguing with myself” you create the opportunity to examine your own thinking, as if you were a third party observing the conversation between two other people (you, and the person you're “talking” to). From this perspective, you may gain insight into the nature of the “conversation.”

If your internal dialoguing is bringing about feelings of anxiety, you could simply decide to stop. If you're like most people, your internal dialogue is probably somewhat repetitive and you tend to have the same or similar conversations with the same people about the same issues. If there is an issue that is ongoing, say between you and someone you work with, and you are engaging in repetitive internal dialoguing with the hopes of finding an acceptable solution, you may wish to take a different approach. Since internal dialoguing is actually a conversation with yourself, it stands to reason that you may never find resolution because the conversation is completely one-sided and does not actually involve the other party, with whom you are working. To move forward, it's likely the case that you will need to address the issue directly with the other person rather than exclusively within your own mind. In the meantime, it may help to reduce the amount of time that you spend engaged in internal dialogue.

The simple act of identifying a process, such as dialoguing, can have profound and positive effects on your general sense of wellbeing, freeing up valuable mental ‘real estate’ that can be used for more productive and positive experiences. One of the most enjoyable experiences that could take the place of internal dialoguing is to notice the sensation of being alive from within your own body. Focusing on “the evidence of life," such as your breathing, heartbeat, physical sensations and everything that you experience through your senses, can be a wondrous and enjoyable experience. You do not have to “do” anything to experience the wonder and beauty of life. All you have to do is pay attention to what is.

When we clear away the clutter from our mind, stepping out of our ‘mind flow’ long enough to stand at the bank of the river, and stop trying to make our lives happen by using our minds, we increase the potential for noticing and acknowledging our true nature, which is poised at the edge of evolution. It's ironic that many of us seem to be under the impression that we can think our way out of the problems of thinking! Having access to a resource such as the human mind is an amazing gift, but sometimes the solution to the problems of thinking can be so simple, they tend to be overlooked or undervalued.

Life is not complicated, nor is it meant to cause anxiety or suffering. Those states generally exist in the domain of thought. The next time you are over thinking, having internal dialogues and feeling swept away in the flow of your own thoughts, pause to notice this with an objective statement. You may even find it useful to say it out loud. “I'm talking to myself.” or “I'm having an internal dialogue.” From a place of objectivity, you can choose to take a different path. Try it and see what happens.

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Attending to the Moment

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Improving the quality of your life can take many forms. When we think about life quality, we often think about things like having enough time to spend with our friends and family, keeping our anxiety levels low, maintaining good physical and mental health and generally enjoying the experience of living.

Some of the ways you can improve the quality of your life take time, such as developing new skills, expanding your knowledge in specific areas and increasing your level of physical fitness, but there are things that you can do right now and which will not cost you a thing, to immediately improve your life experience.

You’re probably familiar with the term mindfulness, which is used to describe the state of enhanced presence and awareness to one’s external and internal experience. Teachers such as Thich Nhat Hanh and Eckhart Tolle have written eloquently on this subject and more people are studying mindfulness as a way to improve the quality of their lives. This article focuses on one of the many aspects of a mindfulness practice, attending to the moment.

If you’re not familiar with the concept of mindfulness, I invite you to do a simple online search, reading some articles so you may familiarize yourself with the basics. Like any practice, there are many approaches to mindfulness. Some may include more “classical” meditation rituals, such as sitting in a specific way and/or yogic breathing techniques, also known as pranayama.  What’s most important is not how you practice mindfulness, but that you practice mindfulness. There is no right or wrong way to practice. There is only practicing and not practicing.

Attending to the Moment

When we attend to something, we place our focus and interest on it.  We become fascinated by something, not lost in it, but brought into his state of wonderment. As we experience life, we often encounter what seem to be repetitive situations. We awake in the same bed, open our eyes to the same view, go through similar rituals of preparation in the morning and in the evening and we may see many of the same people and do many of the same tasks day after day. Because all of these events appear to be similar, there is a tendency to place our attention outside of the experience as our minds are constantly seeking “new” and “different” experiences.

Because we think that we have  “Been there and done that,” we often find ourselves in a state that many would describe as daydreaming. As we eat breakfast, we are thinking about past events or planning for the future. As we travel to work, our minds are often occupied with visions of upcoming tasks and possible scenarios. The result is that we often are not fully present in much of what we do. Our minds are mostly occupied by our memories of the past and our visions of the future. We are literally allowing life to pass us by.

The way to correct this is to increase your depth of attention to each moment. On a very basic level, you can start by beginning to notice details about an experience. Using all of your available senses, allow the abundance of information to flow into your awareness while you maintain a state of deep wonderment. The reality is that you have never experienced this moment before and you will never experience it again, so it’s important that you do not miss it! Look, listen, feel, smell, taste – embody the experience.

How amazing it is to be alive! The entire world is a dynamic and beautiful work of art that is waiting for you to pause long enough to fully appreciate it. Traveling farther along the path towards enlightenment, we come to acknowledge ourselves and all others as part of this beautiful creating we call the universe. You have been given an extremely rare opportunity to be a witness to the unfolding of the manifested world and the only thing you really have to do to greatly improve your life experience is to notice this.

The next time you are engaged in what you would normally consider to be a repetitive or mundane activity, remind yourself that the experience is entirely new and unique–because it is. Experience the textures and sensations that enter through all your senses. Look, listen and feel, but also be amazed and appreciative that you can look, listen and feel. Experience yourself experiencing the world. What is happening in your body? What thoughts and feelings are prompted from moment to moment? Rather than allowing the river of thoughts to carry you away, simply stand at this river’s edge and notice that it is flowing.

One of the biggest obstacles you will face with regard to maintaining a state of presence and attending to the details in every moment is the tendency to allow yourself to be swept away by your own thoughts. Know that your mind is a wonderful tool that produces thousands of thoughts each day and is always looking for problems to solve. This is the role of your mind, and something I will discuss in greater detail in future articles. For now, simply accept that you will have many different thoughts presented to you each moment of your life, like a flowing river through a valley. It will help you to remember that there is more to your inner landscape than only this river!

The other thing you will do to deny yourself your present experience is to act on the desire to label things. Naming, categorizing and labeling things and events that occur in your life robs you of unique and potentially wondrous experiences. You don’t actually experience what occurs from moment to moment because your mind has already defined the experience and placed it into the BTDT (Been there. Done that) category. Rather than taking the time to fully experience life as it is, you allow your mind to define the moment for you by superimposing preconceptions, assumptions and even your own biases over what is actually a unique and once-in-a-lifetime experience. This relates to the Buddhist concept of “beginner’s mind.”

Resist naming, labeling and engaging in any mental activity that appears to define an experience before you actually have it. Even if you think you “know” what something is, approach each moment without judgment or expectations. Your mind will likely wish to move ahead, searching for novelty, but the novel and unique exists in every moment when you allow yourself the pleasure of attending to it.

Attending to the moment is something you can do right now, even as you read this. If you would like to learn more about this topic, see an article on my personal website called “Seeing as New.” In future articles, I will discuss more aspects of mindfulness as well as techniques included in the Thoughtfulness Practice.

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Softening Sadness

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I recently returned from a two-week teaching and lecturing trip to Australia. After one of the sessions a woman approached me and asked if I had a few minutes to talk.   she confided in me that,  although she does do things from which she gains a lot of enjoyment, she often feels sad and isn't sure exactly why. She went on to tell me that she sometimes gets frustrated because the reason for the sadness is not clear, and that fact sometimes adds to the frustration and creates even more sadness.

During the consultation, we talked about the thoughtfulness practice of 'feeling the feeling.'  In this practice, the purpose is to remove any resistance from receiving the messages that your subconscious or unconscious body/mind is attempting to send you through the conduit of emotions and feelings. Ironically, it is often our resistance to undesirable feelings that produces the majority of our suffering,  this concept is at the core of many spiritual teachings, primarily Buddhism.

As I asked her questions about the feeling and about what she was doing about it, she did seem to understand the dynamics in which she was engaging. She seemed to acknowledge that, even though she couldn't identify the reason for the sadness, she was unable to prevent the feeling from taking over.

My recommendation was that she set aside some time, when she could focus and be undisturbed, to allow herself to feel the feeling and even invited  it into her being, thereby allowing it to flow in and through her. I explained that it is often our resistance to negative feelings that creates the dynamic of tension–two forces working in opposition to each other.

I recommended that she focus on the feeling and try to identify where it manifests in her body. We often feel sadness in our chest and/or abdomen, although not exclusively so. I invited her to explore the feeling and to ask it, as you would a child,  “What can I do for you?” or  “What's wrong?”  By meeting the feeling of sadness with compassion, we can tear down the system of tension and suffering, opening up a dialogue with ourselves that can lead to greater peace and well-being.

By the end of our conversation her mood seemed quite a bit brighter. She was smiling and had a certain sense of lightness about her. She assured me she would try the thoughtfulness practice, even if, and especially when, she wasn't in the mood to do so!

It's completely understandable, but in today's world of Linkedin, Facebook, and Twitter, that one would feel the pressure to always be  “up” and “cheerful.”  The reality is, everyone feels sad some of the time–for various reasons. There's nothing wrong with feeling sad. In fact, feelings always have a purpose–to inform us of what might be going on in our subconscious. It's only when we are unable to cope with these feelings and when they cause us further suffering that we need a more functional approach.

The next time you're feeling sad for 'no reason,'  try using the thoughtfulness practice of “feeling the feeling” and see if it makes a difference. The only thing you might have to lose is a little bit of your sadness.

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Giving Peace

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It's often the case that we reflect on ways to help each other during the Holidays, whether it's donating some time to help serve meals to those in need, running errands for someone who is homebound, or simply donating our time to be with people who could use some company, such as those in retirement homes or hospitals.

Giving the gift of support, through physical or personal donations is a wonderful way to create a sense of connectedness with others and foster community on all levels. Gifts of this kind can take the form of specific events, such as making a special trip to a senior center to sing holiday songs with the residents, or helping to collect and distribute gifts through your community organization.

Gifts of Peace can also take a much smaller, more subtle form. They can be given in very small packets of attention, listening, and validating others. When someone approaches you with a worried look on their face, tension in their voice, and anxiety in their mind, listening with attention and compassion might be all that is needed to open up their hearts. This simple act can be one form of mindfulness-based meditation. When those around us are nurtured, we feel nurtured as well.

Embodying tenderness in all that you do, can have ripple effects that extend into the world, well beyond the physical limits of your immediate world. Walking through the world with a smile on your lips and openness in your eyes can affect everyone you touch in ways that are profound. Giving this kind of peace is not something that is usually noticed, but it is felt.

As you drive to your appointments this holiday season, think of every driver as your dear friend. Perhaps they need to get somewhere quickly, which is why they need to speed around you or get into that parking spot. Let them. Create space for peace by allowing others to flow around you. See them as members of your family who might need more understanding and support at this time. Give them the peace you carry in your heart. You will never run out!

One of the best ways to give peace, is to not take things personally when something unexpected or undesirable happens. Keep in mind that you have expectations. (We all do). But it is only when you compare your expectations with what actually happens that you might become frustrated and upset. When we accept the world as it is, we will never be upset - because we are always starting from the situation that is. This does not mean that we do not strive to improve, only that we are not caught up in comparing what we wanted to have happen with what is happening, which is pointless and often stressful.

Give peace by listening to someone talk without judging their circumstances or trying to 'fix' their problems. Listen with an open heart and mind, making eye contact and finding the bright spots in what the share. Often, people focus on their problems, but it is impossible for someone to know what his problems are unless he also has some idea of that the solutions! (otherwise he would simply accept the situation as normal).

Give peace by not engaging in positions of tension. Someone might say something with which you disagree. That's OK. Is it important to defend the opposite position at that time? What is more important, to be 'right' or to be at peace? If you can, allow others to have their opinions and focus on what you both enjoy. Celebrate the good that you both see in the world. Often, when we remove our 'problems' we find love - for love is at the core of creation. Love is the heartbeat of the universe - the 'one song' that we all sing each day.

Give peace to yourself by having compassion for the child inside you that is doing the best he/she can. Allow yourself to make mistakes and laugh at yourself -because you know that life is about trying things, making discoveries, and exploring the boundaries of the imagination. Life is not a performance. It is an adventure - and adventures are marked by surprises. Enjoy them and be grateful.

Give peace to the planet by being a stuart of all your relations. Take care of every being you encounter, every form of life, and every phase of life. See the stages of the manifested world as one dance, moving in harmony, you with your place and everything else with its place, interconnected and interdependent. Know that, by offering peace, you are creating peace for yourself. Be peaceful and the world will reciprocate.

Blessings to you this holiday season.
May you be peace!

-Kalani

 

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Moving Beyond Sorrow

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The dictionary defines 'Sorrow' as: 1) deep distress, sadness, or regret especially for the loss of someone or something loved and 2) resultant unhappy or unpleasant state.

In an earlier post called 'The Functional Mind,' I talked about how the primary functions of the mind is to identify, categorize, associate, store and retrieve data (information about the world, both external and internal).

Looking at the feeling of sorrow through the lens of the Thoughtfulness Practice, we can immediately see that a state of sorrow depends on us first categorizing something as a 'loss,' secondly as associated with something 'loved,' and most importantly - the thoughts that lead to this state must be retrieved over and over again.

We've all felt the deep sadness that comes from experiencing the loss of something we hold dear. It might have been a friend, family member or a pet. It could have been a quality that was 'lost' such as tenderness or innocence.

Whatever it was, the 'loss' is experienced as an emotion that often manifests throughout the body as a feeling of both emptiness and heaviness. We might experience sensations of tension coupled with feelings of helplessness. Sorrow is a powerful feeling and it can weigh us down and drain us of energy.

Clearly, there are times when it is appropriate and, some might argue, necessary to allow one's self to enter into a state of sorrow. In times of great loss, sorrow serves to slow us down, provide a space for mourning, reflection, and the healing process to begin. This is normal and when appropriate, sorrow can be exactly what we need to process an event in our lives.

The key to living an enlightened life, is to know when and how to move beyond sorrow and resume the natural state of bliss and gratitude that is the birthright of every living being. As 'universal beings' we are wired for bliss and healthiest when manifesting joy. We are most productive when we are happy and looking forward to the many gifts each day brings.

Let's see how we can use the teachings of the Thoughtfulness Practice to move beyond sorrow, when the time is right.

Sorrow, as a condition, depends largely on the re-experiencing of the feeling of loss. In most cases, the 'loss' is a change from one circumstance to another (i.e., My pet was here and now he/she is gone). In order to experience the sorrow, we must re-mind ourselves of the loss and continue to wish that the current condition was different than it is.

We know that the mind's job is to store and retrieve data, but we also know that it is our perspective and orientation that determines the quality of that information. 'Quality" in this case refers to the relevance and usefulness of the thought as it pertains to our life.

When we take an objective look at a 'sorrow-producing' thought, we can examine it for its quality by asking the questions:

  1. Is this thought true in its timeliness?
  2. Does maintaining this thought serve my highest good?
  3. Am I willing and ready to let go of this thought/feeling?

Is this thought true in its timeliness?

Sometimes we hold on to an event, thought, or feeling long after the event has past. We continue to re-mind ourselves of it until it becomes almost hard-wired into our daily life. We change our perspective to accommodate the thought and can even change our entire orientation in life. In some cases, our mood suffers, we feel sad, our bodies ache, we're unmotivated and even angry. In extreme cases we might experience depression and feelings of helplessness.

The KEY is to consider the timeline and be realistic about the event, which may have happened months and even years before. Even though we can remember it, is it true in this moment? Are those events happening now? Chances are, if we're being honest with ourselves, the answer is no. We can help move beyond sorrow, by admitting that it is us who are continuing to pull the event into the present, through the use of our mind. This is a mis-use of the mind. The first step is to notice that this is happening.

Does maintaining this thought serve my highest good?

If you were going to recommend that someone else either use or not use the 'sorrow-producing thought,' what would you tell them? Be honest. Does pulling the thought and feeling into the present serve you in your highest good? Does it help you feel more like yourself or something else? If it is not serving you, then it makes sense to change your perspective and focus on what does. You can do this by simply observing the thought, feeling the feeling, and not reacting negatively to the presence of the thought. (See the article "Feeling the Feeling.)

We can allow a thought without having a reactive experience to it. When we provide compassion to our own sorrow, we begin to heal - we begin to understand that it is not the event that is causing us to suffer, but our resistance to the change in our life situation. We sometimes become bound to a feeling and the orientation around that feeling. We might think that if we are not sad that we are not honoring the person or thing that we loved, but this thinking only hurts ourselves and those who are with us. In fact, we can honor those we loved by living a bright and joyful life.

When a though does not align with your highest good, you have the option of acknowledging that. When you truly acknowledge that you could be spending more time with your quality thoughts, you will reclaim your highest good and use your mind in ways that lead to productively and happiness.

Am I willing and ready to let go of this thought/feeling?

As mentioned above, we sometimes hold on to a thought or feeling for various reasons. We may actually become attached to feelings of sadness and sorrow to the point where they become part of who we are. You can sometimes see this in people who have suffered great loss. They seem to carry the thought and feelings of sorrow with them everywhere, never letting go, always focused on a feeling of loss and suffering. It's not as important to know why people do this as it is to know that it is always a choice.

In order to allow a feeling to move beyond your conscious mind, you must be willing to allow that to happen, which means you must be willing to let the associations go as well. This might feel like abandoning the thing you loved, but in truth, it is honoring all that is good in life. Have you ever met someone who suggested to you that, should they pass on before you, they would want you to feel sorrow for a long time? Of course not.

Once the sorrow has served its purpose, once the appropriate space has been created and rituals for healing have been practiced, once the person, pet or thing has been acknowledged and respects have been paid, the focus can return to the present moment - not to the future, but the here and now.

Letting go of sorrow does not mean forgetting about people or what they meant. It means returning to a state of gratitude and wonderment for each and every moment that is your life. It means allowing yourself to be present in your life and not stuck in the past or future.

We can move beyond sorrow when we acknowledge that our mind is a tool for solving problems - not producing them. When we are able to manage our thoughts in a way that produces quality, we can release feelings of sorrow. By embracing the wonder and joy that is inherent in each moment, we focus on appreciation for the gifts of life, rather than what we think was taken from us.

Each day is a gift. That's why it's called the present. (Anon)

What do you think of this Thoughtfulness Practice?

Have you found ways to move beyond sorrow?

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Perspective

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In the article, The Functional Mind, we learned that the mind carries out at least three primary functions: 1) to identify things, 2) to make associations between things, and 3) to store and retrieve information. In this article, we will learn that we can develop and choose various perspectives with regards to the 'items' of the mind.

As we experience life, we collect memories. Things happen to us. We identify those events, categorize them, make associations between those events as past events, and store them in the vastness of our minds. Some of the events in our lives become 'repressed' or 'unconscious' memories, driving us from a deeper place than we are aware. But many of the event in our lives are readily available for consideration and review at any time. These will be the subject of this article.

Given that our minds do categorize, make associations, and store information, one questions we might ask is, how are those 'items' organized in my mind? In other words: What is the relationship between your present thoughts and all the memories that you have accumulated in your life? Are your memories 'close to the surface'? Do you often make associations between things that are happening in the present and past events? If you find yourself comparing what is happening 'now' with what happened 'before,' then this could be a major factor in how you shape your personal perspective.

When we 'view' the items in our mind through a particular 'lens,' aligning certain types of 'events' into sets and categorizing certain types of memories as groups, then we view those items from a particular perspective. In reality, all the memories we have are discrete. They are, in fact, not related at all, but our mind makes associations between things that 're-mind' us of other things, so these 'items' tend to become grouped together - viewed as a group.

Imagine that all the memories you have are floating in a holographic space that is your mind. Some are in the back, others in the front. Some are to the left, others to the right. All your memories (and the thoughts and feelings that are associated with them) are 'hovering' in the space of your mind.

When we are re-minded of a particular mind 'item,' we can choice to 'view' that item by itself or in association with other items. Most people tend to do the latter, either consciously or unconsciously. Most people tend to view an event 'in alignment with' other events that they have identified as similar. It's as if you are standing in front of a large three-dimensional model of your mind, where memories are placed on levels, like one of those 3-D chess or checkers games.

If you were to walk around the 'game board' you would find that you could, through your positioning, align various combinations of items on the boards, so they form a line or group. This 'aligning to view' certain types of memories, thoughts and feelings, is what we call 'perspective.' Your perspective is your chosen 'line of sight' when viewing those items of the mind. How you choose to view the contents of you mind will, in large part, determine what kind of experience you have when faced with new events.

We all have choices with regards to which 'perspective' we choose to use. This is obvious, as evidenced by two people arguing over what a shared experience 'means' or even what 'happened.' Both people have their own perspective–the viewpoint they each choose based on the associations they make between what they remember and what they identify as currently happening.

A Thoughtfulnerss Practice:

The 'key' to choosing your perspective, is to remember that every event in your life is unique and not related to what has come before–even if something that is currently happening reminds you of some prior event or situation. This truly is key. Making false associations between the present and the past, then viewing the present from the perspective of the past only takes us farther from the present moment. Adding layers of 'past' to the present blurs our vision of what is actually happening, coloring our perspective in some way.

Viewing the present from a neutral perspective, not aligning with any past events, thoughts, feelings, or emotions, helps us remain in the present and appreciate the beauty and unique qualities of every moment in our lives. Unless there is a good reason to take a specific perspective, as a means to maintaining safety, for example, focus on the uniqueness of the present experience, rather than making associations to the past-or future. When you find yourself 'lining up' similar 'items' to view them as a group, change your perspective so you see the present as a single item. This way, you will enjoy the unique beauty and power of being present.

In a future article, we will example how using a certain perspective repeatedly, over time, can cause someone to adopt a specific 'orientation.'

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Finding Peace

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It's something that we all talk about and desire - Peace.

Watch the news and you would think that the world is in a constant state of unrest, but is this really true? Does conflict take the place of peace or can there be peace within struggle, within conflict and tension? Finding peace might seem like an almost unsurmountable task in 'times of conflict,' but there's another way to approach finding it that doesn't rely on others or even yourself to manifest this state of continuity and clarity that we all seek.

Finding peace can be the result of connecting to something that is peaceful. Anyone who knows nature has experienced the sense of peace that comes from taking a leisurely walk through a natural landscape, sitting alongside a gently flowing stream, or watching the clouds roll by from a grassy hillside. While we generally find these experiences peaceful, we're only scratching the surface. There's more we can do, purposefully and with full attention, to connect to peace and find that feeling within ourselves.

They say that 'It takes one to know one.' While this phrase has traditionally been used as a snappy come-back, aimed at the teaser and most often used in children's culture, we can use it as a starting point to help point us towards peace. Translated another way, we could say that "It takes knowing peace to be at peace." In other words, we can identify peace where it exists, connect to that active experience, and manifest that experience through our experiences.

How do we connect to peace? First, we locate something peaceful, something beautiful, something that is manifesting peace. This actually applies to just about everything in nature, but let's begin with those manifestations that are most recognizable as beautiful and peaceful: plants and more specifically, trees and flowers. For the purpose of this practice, the object of our attention will be a healthy, living, expression (life form), that we find pleasing to observe.

The Practice:

Preparation

Find a living plant (tree or flower) in a place where you will have 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted time. Make yourself comfortable and prepare your body and mind with some gentle stretches, deep, slow breathing, and making yourself comfortable. Once settled, focus on the object of peace. (Make sure that you are close enough to the object to observe detail) Begin by observing the item as a whole. Take in the beauty. Proceed to notice small details, lines, curves, points of interest, etc. Notice how it grows up and out, spreading into the word to show its beauty. Notice how peaceful it is - how calm - yet steady and in many ways, strong and grounded it is.

Finding Peace

Begin to imagine what it would feel like to be that plant. How does it experience the world? Imagine the feeling of having your roots spread out into the cool earth. Think about what they would feel like, not as a human, but as the plant. Notice the steam or trunk and imagine how it feels to be reaching upward, strong and connected. Notice the branches and stems and the feeling of spreading out. Notice the flowers and leaves and the urge and feeling to allow your beauty to show without reserve, without hesitation, naked for the world to see. Imagine the feeling of peace that this life experiences each and every moment: grounded, growing, reaching, opening. Imagine yourself 'as' the plant (not as a person observing). Use your ability to empathize with this life you see in front of you to find the feelings of peace that it so completely embodies.

Integration

Begin to imagine your own body in the same way as you see the plant, connected, growing, branching out, blossoming, showing your beauty without reserve. Find the same feeling of peace within yourself. You are a manifestation of the same force that is manifesting the plant. Know that you also represent peace, naturally. Connect with your own embodiment of peace that is an innate part of your existence. Feel the feeling. Experience the sensation of being alive, of growing without trying, of opening up to the universal love that creates the manifested. You are not a 'part of' or 'apart from' the Universe. You are an expression of the universe.

Closing

After spending a few minutes experiencing deep sensations of peace, begin to bring your awareness back to the general environment. Slowly transition out of your peace practice and use the experience to inform and shape how you experience yourself and others in the future. Represent peace to others. Be a model, even if they are unable or unwilling to follow your example. Represent peace through your ability to remain grounded, growing, and blossoming. Show your beauty to others in the hopes that they will find the beauty in themselves.

This is the Thoughfulness Practice of "Finding Peace."

  • How do you create this practice in your life?
  • What are some benefits of this Practice?

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The End of Monkey Mind

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Remember that scene from Fantasia where Micky Mouse was the sorcerer's apprentice? He was feeling overwhelmed with work, so he used the power of the sorcerer's hat to turn a broom into a helper (so he could get out of working and relax). He was so delighted that he soon fell asleep, only to awake to a castle that was quickly filling up with water. When he tried to destroy his little wooden helper, it only multiplied and created a real nightmare. Micky desperately tried to find a solution in a book, but it was too late–the broom helpers were a force he just couldn't control and all hope seemed to be lost. Finally, the sorcerer appeared and restored order. Mickey took back to work with a renewed sense of humility (and hopefully a little wisdom).

Micky Mouse in The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Micky's troubles began when he tried to use a power that was beyond his ability and they escalated when he unconsciously allowed his imagination to run wild. Even after he woke up, his problems continued to escalate until it seemed that all hope was lost.

When viewed through the lens of mindfulness, it's easy to draw a parallel between the use of a 'magic hat' and a common tendency in people to think that the answer to their troubles resides outside of themselves.

It's also easy to see that Micky let his imagination run wild, which eventually caused him a great deal of anxiety and stress. His life was out of control and going down the drain–literally.

The inability to calm one's mind has often been described using the term "monkey mind," likely due to the idea that monkeys are 'bouncing off the walls' with energy and never sit still. This concept might be in need of redefining, since every time I've ever seen a monkey, they appear to be quite calm and peaceful (with the rare exception of when they are fighting or playing, but even them they seem to calm down quickly).  Perhaps we should want our minds to be like a monkey after all, but let's take the common definition as true - that our minds can seem out of control and beyond our ability to calm.

Thoughtfulness tells us that our minds are more like puppies, eager to please us by helping to solve all the problems, both real and fictional, that we might entertain. The mind is a problem-solving computer that uses trillions of neuro-connections and pathways to inout, store, and retrieve data. It also cross-references (associates) information very quickly and presents us (the user) with myriad possible 'solutions' to our 'problems.'

So rather than think of your mind like a crazy monkey (or out-of-control broom) that you need to run away from (or chop into tiny bits, as in the case of Mickey's helper), treat your mind as you would a puppy - an eager one.

What's the difference?

Compassion. Mickey had an adversarial relationship with his magic helper. There was no authentic, loving, compassionate relationship. Even his hat belonged to someone else. Rather than think of your thoughts as "making you crazy" - as if they don't belong to you. Take responsibility for them, and understand that all that activity is your mind's way of trying to help you.

A Thoughtfulness Practice:

When your mind races and fills your internal 'movie screen' with a seemingly endless array of anxiety-producing images, realize what is happening. Namely, your mind is working to help offer you possible solutions to situations - both real and imagined. First, have compassion and astonishment for this eager puppy-mind. I sometimes imagine that I can talk "to" my mind. I might say "Wow - look at all those thoughts you're making! That's amazing. You are really quite special." I know this might seem odd, but changing your relationship with your mind changes the dynamics inside your head - and that's a good thing.

Second, find a way to "let your mind know who's in charge." This could simply be to internally acknowledge the offerings of your mind, allowing the running movie to exist without following it too closely. In other words, don't believe everything you think. Just sit back and know that it's a movie. Enjoy the creative energy that goes into it. Be amazed - not crazed.

The difference between Monkey-Mind and Puppy-Mind is that we have compassion for the later. We understand that the busy work is our mind's way of trying to help - AND we take responsibility for that activity, like we would for our own puppy or our child. We don't make our mind wrong or punish it (ourselves) for having lots of thoughts. Instead, we show gratitude and interest, like we would with a child, and we continue, knowing the difference between what we think and what we are.

When we are centered in our beingness, we can allow any number of thoughts to flow through our imagination without loosing our balance or feeling overwhelmed. The key is compassion - Compassion ends Monkey-Mind and creates a loving (and often fantastical) relationship with our own thoughts.

What are your thoughts?

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Matter Over Mind

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How much mind do you need to use?

When you're involved in an activity, whether it's intense, such as working to meet a work deadline, or low-pressure, such as walking through a park, do you ever thinking about how much you need to think at that time? In other words: Have you considered to what degree to use your mind to help you?

Most of us simply let our minds do what they do, which is to continuously work at solving problems, figuring out puzzles, providing alternatives, and basically showing us all sorts of possibilities. This is normal, but is it in our best interest? If you've never considered using 'less mind," consider it now.

When do we really NEED to use the power of our mind? Of course it should be easy to think of some examples. Doing a math or geometry problem, writing a story or technical paper, reading a map, debating a topic, etc.  Most people would say that we need our minds most of the time and perhaps that is true. But could it be that there are many times when we not only do not need to use the power of our minds as much?

Consider times when you don't need to use your mind. This could be when you're sitting by a river, taking in the beautify with all your senses; walking in a forested area, swinging on a swing, floating in the ocean, resting, etc. These are times where there is little need for the mind. Why? Because there is no puzzle to figure out–no mystery to solve–no problem to resolve.

The problem in these situations often comes about as a result of the activity of the mind! When we are not able to allow our 'beingness' to be the focus, feeling the sensations of life, allowing our senses to guide us into the perfect and present moment, we begin to suffer. We suffer as our minds continue to work away at fictional problems, provide us with more and more scenarios to situations that have long past, and fill our attention with a seemingly endless stream of what-ifs.

The solution?

Thoughtfulness teaches us that our mind is a tool that we can use to help us solve complex problems. It teaches us that it is an organ inside our body, whose job it is to provide us with possibilities, solutions, and alternatives. Knowing this, we can manage the mind's outflow of imagery and, rather than having an aversion to it's offerings, have gratitude for this amazing resource.

So rather than saying to ourselves: "Oh my, I have 'monkey-mind' and I feel overwhelmed. I don't know what to do.", we can say (to our mind) thank you for these offerings, but I am not in need of any help right now. I have everything I need already. In this way, you can let  your mind know that you're OK.

When we form a loving relationship with our mind, like we would with a child who is trying his best to help, we can ease the frenetic energy of the mind, and as a result, the body. We can bring our mind-body into harmony by not resisting the mind, but at the same time, not allowing the mind to run the show, so to speak.

So when we're sitting by a river or walking in the forest, we can send a message of understanding to our mind that there's no need to solve problems. We can say "Thank you, but not now. Perhaps later." We can use less mind and more body. When we focus on our senses, we become more mindful of ourselves and our surroundings. We deepen our relationship with the present perfect moment and the world as it is in its true beauty. When we do that, we focus on what truly matters and find beauty reflected in ourselves and everything around us.

This is mindfulness.

This is the Thoughtfulness practice of Matter over Mind.

 

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Presence

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One of the goals of the Thoughtfulness Practice is to bring more presence into your life. By presence, I'm referring to attending to your environment, your surroundings as well as your inner state. When we focus on living in the present moment, we generally find life to be a peaceful, enjoyable, and potentially an even magical experience. One way to expand your sense of presence is by managing the amount of time your spend focusing on the past and/or future.

Too Much Past

When we spend time thinking about past event, whether we find them 'positive' or 'negative', joyful or sorrowful, extraordinary or commonplace; we spend less time focusing our attention to the present moments. Our minds, as storage and retrieval systems, are often busy pulling out old 'movies' to show us, replaying them over and over, sometimes as a means to possibly help us figure something out about the events, and at other times, for no apparent reason.

Often, time spent pondering past events proves to be anxiety-causing, as we tend to remember emotionally-charged events that have the potential to place us in a state of anxiety. Remembering and talking about anxiety-producing events (memories) from our past can serve a purpose, when used as part of a therapeutic process, for example. But when 'used' as a pastime, with no clear purpose or outcome in mind, these thoughts provide little value and can even cause us ongoing harm.

Perseverating on 'negative' events can change our perspective and even our orientation, giving us the impression that our lives are lower-quality. Focusing on those events that cause us anxiety can result in elevated levels of cortisol (a stress hormone), higher blood pressure, and cause outbreaks, rashes, and nervousness. Most of these conditions can be lessened or even avoided altogether where we to spend less time pondering the past and more time in the present.

Within the Thoughtfulness Practice, the condition wherein someone spends a large amount of time remembering past events, reviewing them verbally and non-verbally, and replaying certain anxiety-causing events over and over, we would say that the person is "using too much past." Why "using?" We use the term "using" because thoughts are produced by the mind and "used" by the self. Storing, saving, recalling, and using thoughts is always a choice made by the self. (See the article 'The Functional Mind' for more.)

Too Much Future

As with thinking about the past, thinking about the future can cause similar conditions in the person. When we think about the future, we're creating stories (fantasies), based on what we think might happen. The problem with taking our visions to heart is that virtually all of them are not true.

Our minds are constantly producing thoughts, often in the form a short 'movies' that play in our mind's eye. These movies are one of our mind's ways of trying to help us navigate life. We must always keep 'in mind' that our minds are problem-solving, highly creative tools that make us special and unique. They are also capable of producing a large amount of material in a short period of time.

When left unchecked, the mind will tend to produce hundreds if not thousands of possible outcomes for the future. It will show us these as a way to help us be prepared for those times, if and when they come. The mis-managed mind will continue to produce and play thoughts over and over again, sometimes causing the 'users' the same types of anxiety as do thoughts about the past.

Thinking about future events in detail, whether it be a conversation with someone else, giving a presentation, tackling a job or task, or doing any number of other things, can be helpful in certain situations. Considering options is a good way to prepare and be ready. Using the mind to develop a plan or procedure can be time well spent and result in productivity. Allowing the mind to run free in your head, showing any and all 'movies' it chooses, whether based on facts or fiction, whether they cause you joy or anxiety, can result in the same types of problems as using too much past. When someone spends a large amount of their time focused on the future, worrying about what will happen, considering all types of undesirable outcomes, we say that they are 'using too much future.'

The Thoughtfulness Practice teaches us that one way to increase our time in the present, is to reduce our time spent thinking in terms of the past and future.

A Thoughtfulness Practice:

- When you find yourself thinking about the past, consider the quality of the thoughts. Become an observer of your own thinking process and ask yourself: "What is the purpose of using this thought right now?", "What is the feeling attached to this thought or 'movie?'", "Have I considered this thought already? If so, is there any point to repeating it?".

If you find that your current thoughts are about something over which you have no control, consider making a mental or physical note and return to attending to your present surroundings.

If you find that the thought has an emotional charge to it, invite that emotion to 'speak more fully' within your body, rather than pushing it away. Try to find out what the emotion wants to 'say' to you. What is the message? If there is no message, feel the feeling as much as you can. Often this will allow it to dissipate or lessen.

If you have had the thought before, know that your mind is repeating thoughts in an attempt to be productive and helpful, but that you needn't spend additional time reviewing thoughts that you have already considered. Lessen repeating thoughts by focusing your attention in the present, feeling your body from within and attending to all that your sense bring to you from your current surroundings.

When we lose touch with the present, our minds tend to anchor in the past or future. Becoming aware of time spend in the past or future is one of  the first steps in developing your Thoughtfulness Practice. You may find yourself in the past or future. Return to the present by acknowledging that your mind is simply trying to help, to figure things out, but that what you need most is simply to be present.  Be grateful that you have a creative mind, but manage your thoughts in a responsible way, using only those thoughts that are purposeful, productive, and valid in relationship to your life as it is in the moment.

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