Self-Esteem

Surrender to Beauty

June 12, 2016 by kalani

Know the entire universe as a vast arena within which your mind can play endlessly.

Playing, let your awareness be everywhere at once. Planets, stars, swirling galaxies, and all of the subatomic motes are dancing with you.

Enter the Rhythm. Descend into the Space between beats. Dissolve into intimacy with the Dancing One.
–The Radiance Sutras.

The universe has been at play since the beginning of time. You are her partner. Every element, the seen, the unseen, the manifested, the un-manifested, the obvious, and the subtle, are waiting for your hand. You don’t have to “do” anything special to be at play, only to surrender to your natural way of being.

A good game is enjoyed equally by all, win or loose, rise or fall. The game is life and playfulness is one path to victory. It’s the playful ones who never loose. They know it’s not about holding a trophy when the game is over. They are winning every moment they are awake, thankful for this life and forever amazed at the beauty that surrounds them.

A playful moment is a cherished moment.

Seek out opportunities to dance with the Divine. Your life is forever creating itself and you are the sculpture. It doesn’t matter what others may believe about you. Dig into the earth and pull out handfuls of potential. Surrender to the beauty of the moment.

Let your awareness be with the planets and the stars. Find inspiration in their endless dance as you sense the space around your bones and the stillness around your being.

A child’s work is his play. Children have no riches, yet they are rich with playful spirit and find beauty in all its forms. Life is beautiful and full when remember to dance and sing without judgment. The ego-mind is not needed in matters of spirit. To embody spirit is enough.

Life is shaped in the pauses between the peaks. Set your sights on lofty goals but remain aware of every step. Fall into the space between the beats. The Enlightening ones join the dance without hesitation. They have accepted this gift without hesitation. They don’t understand why so many choose to stand idle, casting down judgments and the entire time, missing the party.

Forget how to judge, how to shame, how to point your finger at others. Point it into the sky and say, “I am the Universe and the universe is beautiful!” When you remember that “you” are not a thing or an object, but a “playful awareness,” a “pure consciousness,” you step onto the enlightening path.

Pause for a quite moment. Imagine all the subatomic particles that constitute your body, dancing together, creating and recreating your physical being. Your inner body is a beautiful dance. Can you sense it? Feel the pulse of life, the energy of beingness. This is the ultimate game being played out in the vast arena we call the Universe. The manifested world gives you an opportunity to witness it. Can you allow it to be beautiful?

Beauty is everywhere there is someone to notice it. It’s created with beautiful thoughts and actions. An unselfish act, a tender moment between strangers–this is how the Dancing One celebrates. Have you noticed how full of beauty YOU are, Beautiful One? YOU are what happens when the Universe dances. Look no further. YOU are evidence of the Divine.

It’s not important that other people approve or agree with what you find beautiful or the way you choose to express your playfulness. It’s in the creation of art that the artist finds pleasure. Don’t you see? You are the universe at play. Know that whatever people think about you, is a reflection of how they see the world and themselves. Perhaps they are afraid to show their playful side. Show them how to surrender to beauty.

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Music by Layne Redmond, Greg Ellis, and Azam Ali.

Opening Passage from the Radiance Sutras by Lorin Roche, Ph.D.

Artwork by Cameron Grey.

Judge Not

January 31, 2016 by kalani

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All this talk of purity and impurity –
These are just opinions. Beyond them are the astonishing energies of creation.
Rays of light from a trillion suns you illumine the alter of your sky.
Rolling blue-green oceans sanctify the air you breathe.
In this moment, you are inhaling their blessing.
Who are you to call any of this pure or impure?
Find the center around which everything revolves– stand here and be flooded with joy.
- The Radiance Sutras

Are we separate, or are we part of the great oneness of the universe?

We stand at the alter of the night sky, Often feeling small, insignificant, and separate from all that is. But isn’t the opposite the truth? Are we not also part of, and connected it to that which the Greeks called the Universe? - the One Song.

Is the flowering plant separate from the ground in which it grows? Uproot any plant and you will have the answer. The seed provides the idea and the earth takes on a new form. What we see, label, and categorize as separate, are in reality, part of the same. The seed asks the earth to express itself as the flower. Everything that grows up from the earth IS the earth in a unique expression of celebration.

“I am not a tree!” You say. “I don’t have roots stuck into the earth. I’m an individual. I’m not dependent on the earth like a flower.” When we believe that we are something separate from the source of our being, we turn towards a path of suffering, of feelings of separateness, of insignificance, and powerlessness.

When we admit to ourselves that we are, in fact, part of the Universe, part of the Earth, and nurtured by the same creative Spirit that sways the oceans and illuminates the night sky, then we turn ourselves towards the path of limitless love, feelings of strength, and connectedness.

Rumi once wrote:

“These forms we seem to be are cups floating in an ocean of living consciousness. They fill in sink without leaving an ark of bubbles or a goodbye spray. What we are, is the ocean, too near to see, though we swim in it and drink it in. Don’t be a cup with the dry rim, or someone who rides all night and never knows the horse beneath his thighs, the surging that carries him along.”

Have you ever paused to observe the divine power of creation that flows with in your own body?

What a miracle it is, the Gift of Life–to be animated, expressive, a self-aware expression of the Earth!

Take time to sit and be still enough to experience the sensation of being. Feel the hum of universal energy inside your body. This energy came from a star, traveling millions of miles, nourishing plants and all the creatures of the oceans and the land. You are blessed with life!

Spend time each day in appreciation and gratitude for this life experience. This is your time. Know that you are a unique expression of the earth, nurtured by the same force that drives a tree to grow and flowers to bloom.

Let go–and allow the One Song to be witnessed through the earthly expression you call your life. Your heart is the heart of the universe.

Jesus said, “Judge not, least ye be judged.” The ego judges while the heart loves. The mind tries to solve puzzles, while the soul dances freely. The body experiences sensations. It is up to you, the Observer, to create your life from the inside out. You are everything you need.

Your practice for today and beyond: See yourself and others as unique expressions of the earth, different notes in the same melody of the One Song.

Life Is Now

January 18, 2016 by kalani

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Immerse yourself in the rapture of music, you know what you love. Go there. Tend to each note, each cord, rising up from silence and dissolving again.

Vibrating strings draw us into this spacious resonance of the heart.

The body becomes light as the sky and you, one with the great musician, who is even now singing us into existence. – Radiance Sutras

This reading, from the radiance sutras, asks us to live in the present moment more deeply by using our senses and allowing ourselves to be enraptured by the continuous stream of input we receive from moment to moment.

As humans, we are conditioned to identify with thoughts. We are predisposed to believing that we can think our world into existence. But with thousands of years of history behind us, many struggle with simple questions, such as, “What is the meaning of life?”

Wisdom suggests that we bring meaning into our lives as a conscious practice, driven by our in-the-moment experiences. Our thoughts and beliefs about the world, however fascinating or perplexing, exist solely within the confines of our own minds. What is real, is waiting to be experienced–and can only be experienced through the senses. Life doesn’t happen in the past. It doesn’t happen later. It happens now.

Life is Now.

We are conditioned from childhood to identify with our minds. Soon after we acquire enough skills for basic communication, we are given problems to solve, riddles to answer, and we receive praise for our performance. We learn to identify our self-worth, in part, by the grades we receive in school and through praise from our and parents and peers. Our ability to solve problems, to identify, remember, and figure things out, becomes not simply a means to achieving quality of life, but a way for each of us to quantify our own value, and the value of others.

When the ego becomes associated with problem-solving, the status and importance of thinking can easily move from that of helper to that of ruler. Instead of using our minds to bring us more satisfaction, we allow ourselves to become slaves to the very questions that were created by our minds–or the minds of others. Does the fact that a question exists mean that there is an answer, or is the question itself flawed?

Consider for a moment, that humans are the only animals that create puzzles to be solved. So highly regarded is the human ability for thinking, that we create books of problems, and even television programs, to prove our mental abilities, to ourselves and each other. We not only seek out problems to solve, we take pride in having solved them. What does this tell us about the need for the mind and ego to consume problems? Does solving problems lead to greater life satisfaction – or is there a simpler way–a more direct path to joy.

Is it rational to presume that we can think our way through problems of the mind? Is it reasonable to assume that we can use the same tool to fix a problem that we used to create it? Could asking a question such as, “What is the meaning of life?” be just another way to feed the mind a puzzle, one that has no absolute answer. Is there any evidence to demonstrate that thinking is a reliable way to enhance your life experience? Does spending great amounts of time thinking about life’s problems often result in joy? Consider those times when you feel most satisfied, joyful, or at peace. Are you thinking or are you experiencing? Are you planning or are you doing?

Spiritual teachers throughout the ages point us not in the direction of contemplation as much as towards our own life experience. Be here now. I am that I am. Attend to this moment. How should we find meaning in our lives? The answer is simple. Pay attention. Pay attention, not to the internal process of thinking, but to your surroundings. Listen to the sounds, Take in the sites, enjoy the smells, tastes, and textures of the universe at play.

People talk about mind and ego. Let’s just drop this whole conversation. Consider instead: There is no mind. There is no ego. There is only incandescent reality at play, beckoning. – Radiance Sutras

Liberating the Soul

September 7, 2013 by kalani

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Splash13 Kalani discusses what causes us to add to our own suffering and provides ways to free us from the bonds of aversion. Based on "The Guest House," a work by spiritual poet, Rumi, this talk is about creating positive relationships with every thoughts and feeling, inviting them into "your home" so that they may fulfill their role in helping us navigate our lives. We each gain knowledge and guidance from these "uninvited guests,' but there's no need to suffer. The KEY is paying attention and compassion.

This podcast features music by Azam Ali, Greg Ellis and Layne Redmond & Tommy Brunjes.

The Key to Thought Types

May 31, 2013 by kalani

Understanding that we have different types of thoughts, each with its own particular characteristics and qualities, is a key factor in our spiritual evolution.

on a very basic level, we can easily acknowledge 3 categories of thought quite clearly. We can be having a thought about something that occurred in the past, such as a memory or an event we are imagining to have occurred. We can have thoughts that relate to our present moment experiences. And we can have thoughts about things we imagine will be or could be happening at some point in the future.

Each of us experienced these three thought types. We all have many thoughts about the past present and future throughout the day. Many of these thoughts are repetitive or variations on the same thought, but we will address that in a future discussion. The important point is to recognize that not every thought we have has the same qualities or characteristics and may therefore be useful, or not useful, with regard to reaching various goals as you move throughout your day, creating and shaping your life the way you prefer it to be.

Just as their are three basic thought types with regard to time, or what some call 'clock time,' there are three basic feeling states we can attach to any given thought. Generally speaking, a thought could be categorized as being of a "low" or an undesirable quality, such as those that cause us to feel sad, anxious, or fearful. While these emotions are typical and functional, most people would characterize these types of thoughts as undesirable.

At the other end of the emotional spectrum, we find thoughts that most people would characterize as desirable. These are thoughts that conjure emotions and states such as joy, happiness, elation, excitement, and so on. For the sake of simplicity, we can label these thoughts as " high."

The third basic thought quality with regard to emotion or feeling is 'neutral.' Neutral thoughts are those that conjure neither "low" or "high" feeling states. These would most often be the bulk of the thoughts we have throughout a typical day. They include what we might refer to as mundane content, such as thinking about what we might need to do when we are out running errands.

Because we have three thought types that relate to time and three thought types that relate to emotional quality, we end up with a total of nine basic types. We can have thoughts that are low, neutral, and high about the past; low, neutral, and high about the present; and low, neutral, and high about the future.

One of the first steps you can take towards developing your Thoughtfulness Practice, is to start to recognize your thoughts according to the nine thought types identified above. At this beginning point, it is not necessary or advisable to try to change or manage your thoughts, only to recognize the quality of each thought so that you may become more aware of, and in tune with, the activity of your mind.

Even the simple act of observation can have profound effects on one's ability to manage emotional reactions and remain in a state of centeredness and contentment. For now, your practice is to notice when you are producing thoughts about the past, present, or future, and to notice the emotional quality that is associated with those thoughts, be it low, neutral, or high. Noticing your own thought activity will be an enlightening experience and give you the perspective you need to make meaningful changes.

As you engage in the practice of observation, resist the temptation to judge your thoughts or assign value to them. Resist also the temptation to judge yourself for having certain types of thoughts, such as those you might classify as 'negative.' Self-judgment can result in feelings of frustration, anger, and even shame. Should you have thoughts of this nature, simply recognize them as negative thoughts in the present moment. Acknowledge the thought as the observer of the mind. Know that your mind is constantly producing many thoughts of different types, some of which you will find emotionally desirable, and some of which you will find emotionally undesirable.

The goal is not to try to change your thinking to produce only those types of thoughts that you would like to have, but to simply observe the thoughts and feelings that your mind/body is producing naturally. Once you are able to observe your own thinking and remain neutral, you will move to the next step, which involves selecting which thoughts to use and which thoughts to acknowledge and let go.

Thank you for engaging the Thoughtfulness Practice as a way to help yourself and your community.

Many blessings and much aloha to you, my friends.

Leave your questions and comments below and I will do my best to respond.

- Kalani Das

You are a Miracle

April 4, 2013 by kalani

It's true. You are a miracle. And yet, so many people consider themselves to be ordinary or even unworthy of love.

How do we know that you are a miracle?
We only need to notice what is.

Why are you a miracle?

You are a miracle because for billions of years, you were not here, and now you are.
You are a miracle because out of billions of people, there is only one YOU.
You are a miracle because everything in your entire body used to be part of the Earth.
You are a miracle because everything in your body is still part of the Earth!
You are a miracle because your mind is the most advanced technology in existence.
You are a miracle because you have the potential to create something that has never existed before.
You are a miracle because you have the ability to manifest your dreams.

Out of all the possible ways that the stuff of the universe could have taken form (been manifested), it comes together to form YOU - at least for a while. This is an incredible gift and an opportunity for you to experience the miracle of life - the miracle of creation.

You may feel down, sad, or even depressed at time. You may be hurt, physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. You may be facing challenges that make it difficult to fully appreciate the miracle that is you, but you still can. You can find a way to remember what you are. And that simple act will transform your life experience, no matter what it is.

Your Thoughtfulness Practice

Pause and take time to consider your life as an amazing gift that has been given to you to keep - for a little while. Meditate on the fact that you are alive, animated, and earthly. Yes - You are an earthly being having a spiritual experience. How amazing!

You are a miracle.

and you are loved.

Softening Sadness

February 7, 2012 by kalani

I recently returned from a two-week teaching and lecturing trip to Australia. After one of the sessions a woman approached me and asked if I had a few minutes to talk. she confided in me that, although she does do things from which she gains a lot of enjoyment, she often feels sad and isn't sure exactly why. She went on to tell me that she sometimes gets frustrated because the reason for the sadness is not clear, and that fact sometimes adds to the frustration and creates even more sadness.

During the consultation, we talked about the thoughtfulness practice of 'feeling the feeling.' In this practice, the purpose is to remove any resistance from receiving the messages that your subconscious or unconscious body/mind is attempting to send you through the conduit of emotions and feelings. Ironically, it is often our resistance to undesirable feelings that produces the majority of our suffering, this concept is at the core of many spiritual teachings, primarily Buddhism.

As I asked her questions about the feeling and about what she was doing about it, she did seem to understand the dynamics in which she was engaging. She seemed to acknowledge that, even though she couldn't identify the reason for the sadness, she was unable to prevent the feeling from taking over.

My recommendation was that she set aside some time, when she could focus and be undisturbed, to allow herself to feel the feeling and even invited it into her being, thereby allowing it to flow in and through her. I explained that it is often our resistance to negative feelings that creates the dynamic of tension–two forces working in opposition to each other.

I recommended that she focus on the feeling and try to identify where it manifests in her body. We often feel sadness in our chest and/or abdomen, although not exclusively so. I invited her to explore the feeling and to ask it, as you would a child, “What can I do for you?” or “What's wrong?” By meeting the feeling of sadness with compassion, we can tear down the system of tension and suffering, opening up a dialogue with ourselves that can lead to greater peace and well-being.

By the end of our conversation her mood seemed quite a bit brighter. She was smiling and had a certain sense of lightness about her. She assured me she would try the thoughtfulness practice, even if, and especially when, she wasn't in the mood to do so!

It's completely understandable, but in today's world of Linkedin, Facebook, and Twitter, that one would feel the pressure to always be “up” and “cheerful.” The reality is, everyone feels sad some of the time–for various reasons. There's nothing wrong with feeling sad. In fact, feelings always have a purpose–to inform us of what might be going on in our subconscious. It's only when we are unable to cope with these feelings and when they cause us further suffering that we need a more functional approach.

The next time you're feeling sad for 'no reason,' try using the thoughtfulness practice of “feeling the feeling” and see if it makes a difference. The only thing you might have to lose is a little bit of your sadness.

Share your thoughts about this article below.

Moving Beyond Sorrow

December 11, 2011 by kalani

The dictionary defines 'Sorrow' as: 1) deep distress, sadness, or regret especially for the loss of someone or something loved and 2) resultant unhappy or unpleasant state.

In an earlier post called 'The Functional Mind,' I talked about how the primary functions of the mind is to identify, categorize, associate, store and retrieve data (information about the world, both external and internal).

Looking at the feeling of sorrow through the lens of the Thoughtfulness Practice, we can immediately see that a state of sorrow depends on us first categorizing something as a 'loss,' secondly as associated with something 'loved,' and most importantly - the thoughts that lead to this state must be retrieved over and over again.

We've all felt the deep sadness that comes from experiencing the loss of something we hold dear. It might have been a friend, family member or a pet. It could have been a quality that was 'lost' such as tenderness or innocence.

Whatever it was, the 'loss' is experienced as an emotion that often manifests throughout the body as a feeling of both emptiness and heaviness. We might experience sensations of tension coupled with feelings of helplessness. Sorrow is a powerful feeling and it can weigh us down and drain us of energy.

Clearly, there are times when it is appropriate and, some might argue, necessary to allow one's self to enter into a state of sorrow. In times of great loss, sorrow serves to slow us down, provide a space for mourning, reflection, and the healing process to begin. This is normal and when appropriate, sorrow can be exactly what we need to process an event in our lives.

The key to living an enlightened life, is to know when and how to move beyond sorrow and resume the natural state of bliss and gratitude that is the birthright of every living being. As 'universal beings' we are wired for bliss and healthiest when manifesting joy. We are most productive when we are happy and looking forward to the many gifts each day brings.

Let's see how we can use the teachings of the Thoughtfulness Practice to move beyond sorrow, when the time is right.

Sorrow, as a condition, depends largely on the re-experiencing of the feeling of loss. In most cases, the 'loss' is a change from one circumstance to another (i.e., My pet was here and now he/she is gone). In order to experience the sorrow, we must re-mind ourselves of the loss and continue to wish that the current condition was different than it is.

We know that the mind's job is to store and retrieve data, but we also know that it is our perspective and orientation that determines the quality of that information. 'Quality" in this case refers to the relevance and usefulness of the thought as it pertains to our life.

When we take an objective look at a 'sorrow-producing' thought, we can examine it for its quality by asking the questions:

Is this thought true in its timeliness?
Does maintaining this thought serve my highest good?
Am I willing and ready to let go of this thought/feeling?

Is this thought true in its timeliness?

Sometimes we hold on to an event, thought, or feeling long after the event has past. We continue to re-mind ourselves of it until it becomes almost hard-wired into our daily life. We change our perspective to accommodate the thought and can even change our entire orientation in life. In some cases, our mood suffers, we feel sad, our bodies ache, we're unmotivated and even angry. In extreme cases we might experience depression and feelings of helplessness.

The KEY is to consider the timeline and be realistic about the event, which may have happened months and even years before. Even though we can remember it, is it true in this moment? Are those events happening now? Chances are, if we're being honest with ourselves, the answer is no. We can help move beyond sorrow, by admitting that it is us who are continuing to pull the event into the present, through the use of our mind. This is a mis-use of the mind. The first step is to notice that this is happening.

Does maintaining this thought serve my highest good?

If you were going to recommend that someone else either use or not use the 'sorrow-producing thought,' what would you tell them? Be honest. Does pulling the thought and feeling into the present serve you in your highest good? Does it help you feel more like yourself or something else? If it is not serving you, then it makes sense to change your perspective and focus on what does. You can do this by simply observing the thought, feeling the feeling, and not reacting negatively to the presence of the thought. (See the article "Feeling the Feeling.)

We can allow a thought without having a reactive experience to it. When we provide compassion to our own sorrow, we begin to heal - we begin to understand that it is not the event that is causing us to suffer, but our resistance to the change in our life situation. We sometimes become bound to a feeling and the orientation around that feeling. We might think that if we are not sad that we are not honoring the person or thing that we loved, but this thinking only hurts ourselves and those who are with us. In fact, we can honor those we loved by living a bright and joyful life.

When a though does not align with your highest good, you have the option of acknowledging that. When you truly acknowledge that you could be spending more time with your quality thoughts, you will reclaim your highest good and use your mind in ways that lead to productively and happiness.

Am I willing and ready to let go of this thought/feeling?

As mentioned above, we sometimes hold on to a thought or feeling for various reasons. We may actually become attached to feelings of sadness and sorrow to the point where they become part of who we are. You can sometimes see this in people who have suffered great loss. They seem to carry the thought and feelings of sorrow with them everywhere, never letting go, always focused on a feeling of loss and suffering. It's not as important to know why people do this as it is to know that it is always a choice.

In order to allow a feeling to move beyond your conscious mind, you must be willing to allow that to happen, which means you must be willing to let the associations go as well. This might feel like abandoning the thing you loved, but in truth, it is honoring all that is good in life. Have you ever met someone who suggested to you that, should they pass on before you, they would want you to feel sorrow for a long time? Of course not.

Once the sorrow has served its purpose, once the appropriate space has been created and rituals for healing have been practiced, once the person, pet or thing has been acknowledged and respects have been paid, the focus can return to the present moment - not to the future, but the here and now.

Letting go of sorrow does not mean forgetting about people or what they meant. It means returning to a state of gratitude and wonderment for each and every moment that is your life. It means allowing yourself to be present in your life and not stuck in the past or future.

We can move beyond sorrow when we acknowledge that our mind is a tool for solving problems - not producing them. When we are able to manage our thoughts in a way that produces quality, we can release feelings of sorrow. By embracing the wonder and joy that is inherent in each moment, we focus on appreciation for the gifts of life, rather than what we think was taken from us.

Each day is a gift. That's why it's called the present. (Anon)

What do you think of this Thoughtfulness Practice?

Have you found ways to move beyond sorrow?

Leave your comments below.

The Path to Mindfulness

June 27, 2011 by kalani

Mindfulness, the practice of conscious attention to the present moment while maintaining a non-judgmental mindset. This mind state has been to focus of Eastern practitioners for centuries and in recent years, has been of increasing interest in the West, as more and more people search for effective tools to help them cope with and manage what seems like an ever-increasing pace of life.

Neuroscience is examining the effects of conscious thought on people from all walks of life, including those who participate in various psychological therapies and those with specific needs. Studies are beginning to show that there can be measurable benefits from engaging in specific types of meditation practices, many of which include elements of mindfulness. It turns out that our minds are more plastic and receptive to conditioning than previously imagined. By actively participating in various thought processes, we can change our mental and emotional orientation, thereby increasing the quality of our thoughts and our lives. There are many different applications and approaches that incorporate and support mindfulness. Thoughtfulness is one of these approaches.

The Thoughtfulness Approach includes a collection of related practices. Thoughtfulness is based on several assertions that form the foundation of the approach. Some of these include:

The mind is a mechanism that decodes, associates, categorizes, stores, and retrieves data.
The mind produces myriad thoughts that are available for consideration, interpretation, and application.
Thoughts may be categorized according to their type, relevance, and usefulness.
Thoughts may be applied, discarded, stored, or transformed.
Thoughts often produce emotions, which are processed in a way similar to that of data.
Emotions are often felt in the body and may be processed in a number of different ways.
The mind/body is an empathetic system, and responsive to external conditions.
Thoughts and emotions are often over-associatioed and may result in misperceptions and dysfunctional thinking.
Dysfunctional thoughts and emotions may be cleared from the mind/body through the use of phycho-somatic processes, without the use of drugs or invasive procedures.
The tools one needs to effectively manage one's thoughts are universally available, regardless of race, gender, age, socio-economic status and spiritual or religious belief systems.
The Thoughtfulness Practice may be used in conjunction with spiritual and religious systems.

When practiced on a regular basis and with conscious attention, Thoughtfulness has the potential to reduce time spent in states of worry, anxiety, isolation, loneliness, anger, bitterness, depression and fear. Thoughtfulness has the potential to increase enjoyment, raise self-esteem, increase productivity, elevate mood, improve sleep, boost energy levels, and increase a general sense of wellbeing.