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The End of Monkey Mind

September 14, 2011 by kalani

Remember that scene from Fantasia where Micky Mouse was the sorcerer's apprentice? He was feeling overwhelmed with work, so he used the power of the sorcerer's hat to turn a broom into a helper (so he could get out of working and relax). He was so delighted that he soon fell asleep, only to awake to a castle that was quickly filling up with water. When he tried to destroy his little wooden helper, it only multiplied and created a real nightmare. Micky desperately tried to find a solution in a book, but it was too late–the broom helpers were a force he just couldn't control and all hope seemed to be lost. Finally, the sorcerer appeared and restored order. Mickey took back to work with a renewed sense of humility (and hopefully a little wisdom).

Micky Mouse in The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Micky's troubles began when he tried to use a power that was beyond his ability and they escalated when he unconsciously allowed his imagination to run wild. Even after he woke up, his problems continued to escalate until it seemed that all hope was lost.

When viewed through the lens of mindfulness, it's easy to draw a parallel between the use of a 'magic hat' and a common tendency in people to think that the answer to their troubles resides outside of themselves.

It's also easy to see that Micky let his imagination run wild, which eventually caused him a great deal of anxiety and stress. His life was out of control and going down the drain–literally.

The inability to calm one's mind has often been described using the term "monkey mind," likely due to the idea that monkeys are 'bouncing off the walls' with energy and never sit still. This concept might be in need of redefining, since every time I've ever seen a monkey, they appear to be quite calm and peaceful (with the rare exception of when they are fighting or playing, but even them they seem to calm down quickly). Perhaps we should want our minds to be like a monkey after all, but let's take the common definition as true - that our minds can seem out of control and beyond our ability to calm.

Thoughtfulness tells us that our minds are more like puppies, eager to please us by helping to solve all the problems, both real and fictional, that we might entertain. The mind is a problem-solving computer that uses trillions of neuro-connections and pathways to inout, store, and retrieve data. It also cross-references (associates) information very quickly and presents us (the user) with myriad possible 'solutions' to our 'problems.'

So rather than think of your mind like a crazy monkey (or out-of-control broom) that you need to run away from (or chop into tiny bits, as in the case of Mickey's helper), treat your mind as you would a puppy - an eager one.

What's the difference?

Compassion. Mickey had an adversarial relationship with his magic helper. There was no authentic, loving, compassionate relationship. Even his hat belonged to someone else. Rather than think of your thoughts as "making you crazy" - as if they don't belong to you. Take responsibility for them, and understand that all that activity is your mind's way of trying to help you.

A Thoughtfulness Practice:

When your mind races and fills your internal 'movie screen' with a seemingly endless array of anxiety-producing images, realize what is happening. Namely, your mind is working to help offer you possible solutions to situations - both real and imagined. First, have compassion and astonishment for this eager puppy-mind. I sometimes imagine that I can talk "to" my mind. I might say "Wow - look at all those thoughts you're making! That's amazing. You are really quite special." I know this might seem odd, but changing your relationship with your mind changes the dynamics inside your head - and that's a good thing.

Second, find a way to "let your mind know who's in charge." This could simply be to internally acknowledge the offerings of your mind, allowing the running movie to exist without following it too closely. In other words, don't believe everything you think. Just sit back and know that it's a movie. Enjoy the creative energy that goes into it. Be amazed - not crazed.

The difference between Monkey-Mind and Puppy-Mind is that we have compassion for the later. We understand that the busy work is our mind's way of trying to help - AND we take responsibility for that activity, like we would for our own puppy or our child. We don't make our mind wrong or punish it (ourselves) for having lots of thoughts. Instead, we show gratitude and interest, like we would with a child, and we continue, knowing the difference between what we think and what we are.

When we are centered in our beingness, we can allow any number of thoughts to flow through our imagination without loosing our balance or feeling overwhelmed. The key is compassion - Compassion ends Monkey-Mind and creates a loving (and often fantastical) relationship with our own thoughts.

What are your thoughts?

Share, Like and be at Peace.

Matter Over Mind

September 14, 2011 by kalani

How much mind do you need to use?

When you're involved in an activity, whether it's intense, such as working to meet a work deadline, or low-pressure, such as walking through a park, do you ever thinking about how much you need to think at that time? In other words: Have you considered to what degree to use your mind to help you?

Most of us simply let our minds do what they do, which is to continuously work at solving problems, figuring out puzzles, providing alternatives, and basically showing us all sorts of possibilities. This is normal, but is it in our best interest? If you've never considered using 'less mind," consider it now.

When do we really NEED to use the power of our mind? Of course it should be easy to think of some examples. Doing a math or geometry problem, writing a story or technical paper, reading a map, debating a topic, etc. Most people would say that we need our minds most of the time and perhaps that is true. But could it be that there are many times when we not only do not need to use the power of our minds as much?

Consider times when you don't need to use your mind. This could be when you're sitting by a river, taking in the beautify with all your senses; walking in a forested area, swinging on a swing, floating in the ocean, resting, etc. These are times where there is little need for the mind. Why? Because there is no puzzle to figure out–no mystery to solve–no problem to resolve.

The problem in these situations often comes about as a result of the activity of the mind! When we are not able to allow our 'beingness' to be the focus, feeling the sensations of life, allowing our senses to guide us into the perfect and present moment, we begin to suffer. We suffer as our minds continue to work away at fictional problems, provide us with more and more scenarios to situations that have long past, and fill our attention with a seemingly endless stream of what-ifs.

The solution?

Thoughtfulness teaches us that our mind is a tool that we can use to help us solve complex problems. It teaches us that it is an organ inside our body, whose job it is to provide us with possibilities, solutions, and alternatives. Knowing this, we can manage the mind's outflow of imagery and, rather than having an aversion to it's offerings, have gratitude for this amazing resource.

So rather than saying to ourselves: "Oh my, I have 'monkey-mind' and I feel overwhelmed. I don't know what to do.", we can say (to our mind) thank you for these offerings, but I am not in need of any help right now. I have everything I need already. In this way, you can let your mind know that you're OK.

When we form a loving relationship with our mind, like we would with a child who is trying his best to help, we can ease the frenetic energy of the mind, and as a result, the body. We can bring our mind-body into harmony by not resisting the mind, but at the same time, not allowing the mind to run the show, so to speak.

So when we're sitting by a river or walking in the forest, we can send a message of understanding to our mind that there's no need to solve problems. We can say "Thank you, but not now. Perhaps later." We can use less mind and more body. When we focus on our senses, we become more mindful of ourselves and our surroundings. We deepen our relationship with the present perfect moment and the world as it is in its true beauty. When we do that, we focus on what truly matters and find beauty reflected in ourselves and everything around us.

This is mindfulness.

This is the Thoughtfulness practice of Matter over Mind.

What do you think? Leave your thoughts below.

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Presence

August 18, 2011 by kalani

One of the goals of the Thoughtfulness Practice is to bring more presence into your life. By presence, I'm referring to attending to your environment, your surroundings as well as your inner state. When we focus on living in the present moment, we generally find life to be a peaceful, enjoyable, and potentially an even magical experience. One way to expand your sense of presence is by managing the amount of time your spend focusing on the past and/or future.

Too Much Past

When we spend time thinking about past event, whether we find them 'positive' or 'negative', joyful or sorrowful, extraordinary or commonplace; we spend less time focusing our attention to the present moments. Our minds, as storage and retrieval systems, are often busy pulling out old 'movies' to show us, replaying them over and over, sometimes as a means to possibly help us figure something out about the events, and at other times, for no apparent reason.

Often, time spent pondering past events proves to be anxiety-causing, as we tend to remember emotionally-charged events that have the potential to place us in a state of anxiety. Remembering and talking about anxiety-producing events (memories) from our past can serve a purpose, when used as part of a therapeutic process, for example. But when 'used' as a pastime, with no clear purpose or outcome in mind, these thoughts provide little value and can even cause us ongoing harm.

Perseverating on 'negative' events can change our perspective and even our orientation, giving us the impression that our lives are lower-quality. Focusing on those events that cause us anxiety can result in elevated levels of cortisol (a stress hormone), higher blood pressure, and cause outbreaks, rashes, and nervousness. Most of these conditions can be lessened or even avoided altogether where we to spend less time pondering the past and more time in the present.

Within the Thoughtfulness Practice, the condition wherein someone spends a large amount of time remembering past events, reviewing them verbally and non-verbally, and replaying certain anxiety-causing events over and over, we would say that the person is "using too much past." Why "using?" We use the term "using" because thoughts are produced by the mind and "used" by the self. Storing, saving, recalling, and using thoughts is always a choice made by the self. (See the article 'The Functional Mind' for more.)

Too Much Future

As with thinking about the past, thinking about the future can cause similar conditions in the person. When we think about the future, we're creating stories (fantasies), based on what we think might happen. The problem with taking our visions to heart is that virtually all of them are not true.

Our minds are constantly producing thoughts, often in the form a short 'movies' that play in our mind's eye. These movies are one of our mind's ways of trying to help us navigate life. We must always keep 'in mind' that our minds are problem-solving, highly creative tools that make us special and unique. They are also capable of producing a large amount of material in a short period of time.

When left unchecked, the mind will tend to produce hundreds if not thousands of possible outcomes for the future. It will show us these as a way to help us be prepared for those times, if and when they come. The mis-managed mind will continue to produce and play thoughts over and over again, sometimes causing the 'users' the same types of anxiety as do thoughts about the past.

Thinking about future events in detail, whether it be a conversation with someone else, giving a presentation, tackling a job or task, or doing any number of other things, can be helpful in certain situations. Considering options is a good way to prepare and be ready. Using the mind to develop a plan or procedure can be time well spent and result in productivity. Allowing the mind to run free in your head, showing any and all 'movies' it chooses, whether based on facts or fiction, whether they cause you joy or anxiety, can result in the same types of problems as using too much past. When someone spends a large amount of their time focused on the future, worrying about what will happen, considering all types of undesirable outcomes, we say that they are 'using too much future.'

The Thoughtfulness Practice teaches us that one way to increase our time in the present, is to reduce our time spent thinking in terms of the past and future.

A Thoughtfulness Practice:

- When you find yourself thinking about the past, consider the quality of the thoughts. Become an observer of your own thinking process and ask yourself: "What is the purpose of using this thought right now?", "What is the feeling attached to this thought or 'movie?'", "Have I considered this thought already? If so, is there any point to repeating it?".

If you find that your current thoughts are about something over which you have no control, consider making a mental or physical note and return to attending to your present surroundings.

If you find that the thought has an emotional charge to it, invite that emotion to 'speak more fully' within your body, rather than pushing it away. Try to find out what the emotion wants to 'say' to you. What is the message? If there is no message, feel the feeling as much as you can. Often this will allow it to dissipate or lessen.

If you have had the thought before, know that your mind is repeating thoughts in an attempt to be productive and helpful, but that you needn't spend additional time reviewing thoughts that you have already considered. Lessen repeating thoughts by focusing your attention in the present, feeling your body from within and attending to all that your sense bring to you from your current surroundings.

When we lose touch with the present, our minds tend to anchor in the past or future. Becoming aware of time spend in the past or future is one of the first steps in developing your Thoughtfulness Practice. You may find yourself in the past or future. Return to the present by acknowledging that your mind is simply trying to help, to figure things out, but that what you need most is simply to be present. Be grateful that you have a creative mind, but manage your thoughts in a responsible way, using only those thoughts that are purposeful, productive, and valid in relationship to your life as it is in the moment.

What do you think about this article?
What points speak to you the most?
Share your thoughts below.

Associations

August 9, 2011 by kalani

In a recent post, The Functional Mind, I identified the three main roles of the mind; to identify, make associations, and store and retrieve information. This article more closely examines the process of making associations.

It is through the process of associating that some of our greatest human acheivments have been made. As I've mentioned, it is our ability to quickly make myriad associations between items and ideas that makes us uniqly human. It's what sets us apart from other animals; allows us to develop complex ideas, forms, and items; and it's also the process that often result in increases in anxiety. It's the last point that is a concern in the Practice of Thoughtfulness.

As we learn and grow, we come to recognize many things. We categorize those things and often think in terms of groupings, i.e., people, places, politics, etc.. Give someone a single topic and they can probably talk for hours about it, linking one thing to another and traveling down myriad paths as they are re-minded of more and more things through the process of association.

It's when the process of association happens without an awareness to our current needs, that it can cause anxiety.

When we make non-funcitonal associations, we risk causing ourselves anxiety due to regret and worry (feelings of disappointment about the past or fear about the future). Consider that when listening to someone telling you about something that is happening with them, you might be reminded of something that happened to you. You might then be moved to interject and start talking about it, telling the other person about it, sometimes as a way to show that you can relate and that you have empathy for them.

If the stories that we share are of a 'positive' nature, there's usually no harm in being re-minded of them and re-minding others, but when they could cause us anxiety (reminding yourself and others of 'negative things' beyond your control), choosing to think about them becomes a non-purposeful activity and can even cause emotional and ultimately, physical harm to yourself and others.

An example of non-purposeful (and potentially harmful) associating, might look like this:

You receive a utility bill in the mail. You open it and look at the amount. You think about having to spend that money on something that you barely noticed using and you feel taken off guard by this 'sudden' expense. You lay the bill out on your desk and are reminded of all the other utility bills that you have received in the past. You go to your filing cabinet and get out all your old bills, laying them out on y our desk until it's covered. You look at all those bills and think about all the money you've spent and how you could have used that money for others things that you enjoy. You figure out the total amount and feel a sense of dread as you consider how much you will spend in the future. It all seems so overwhelming. You feel anxious. You heart starts to pound in your chest and you feel flush. You can't see a way out from under this burden.

What happend here?

Rather than taking the bill for what it is: an isolated expense for services rendered, you made an association between it and similar bills from the past. You thought about them all at once and envisioned all future bills as one item. You created a mountain of anguish just through the act of association.

Is it reasonable to go to your desk and bring out all your past bills when you receive a new one? Of course not. Why would you do that? But - Many of us do this with our thoughts. When we receive a story or thought about a particular idea or event, we go into the files of our mind and pull out everything that we can associate with that item, even if it will cause us anxiety! We drag up old files (memories) and lay them out in front of us (in our mind). We think about them as a group, rather than individually. We create a mountain of anxiety out of virtually unrelated items. This is unconscious association or what we call the state of being Over Associated.

Rather than over associating, consider the following as an alternative to the above:

You check your mail and find a utility bill, like you do every month. You don't particularly enjoy having bills, but you know that they represent an exchange of energy between parties. As you pay the bill, you think about how wonderful it is to have water and power to use whenever you need it. You appreciate all the work that everyone at the utility company does to make sure that you have what you need. You remember how easy it made your life to have that water and power - as opposed to not having it. When you consider how much you did with those utilities, the amount you're paying seems small in comparison.

In the second scenario, you never associated your bill with other bills. Instead, you thought about all the good things that you did with the services you received as a result of your relationship with the utility company. Rather than feeling punished, you felt like you got a great deal. You changed your perspective from being 'anxiety-oriented' to being 'gratitude-oriented.' Nothing about the situation of receiving a bill changed–only your perspective.

Remaining neutral, objective, and not over associating items or ideas is at the core of the Thoughtfulness Practice. When we take each event in our lives just as it is, without making a lot of unnecessary and non-functional associations, we spend more time in the here-and-now, and we have the opportunity to express gratitude for the many gifts we receive each and every day.

Thoughtfulness Practices:

The next time you're talking with someone, when you find yourself re-minded of something outside of the topic of the conversation (something that your mind associated with in the conversation), rather than focusing on it, simply observe your mind's activity. Take note and stay focused on what the other person is saying to you. Rather than jumping to your own version of their story, ask them more questions about theirs. This will increase your conversational skills and shows true empathy and a desire to know what is being shared with you.

When you find yourself over associating (thinking about many things that are associated with something, without knowing why), simply take note and observe it as a process of the mind. Observe the way your mind jumps from one subject to another and stay attentive to what is happening in the moment, rather than thinking about the past or future. If your thoughts are causing you anxiety, identify that feeling in your body and invite it to expand into your understanding, rather than pushing it away.

When you are reminded of something that you would like to change, either take action in the moment or - if it's not the right time for action, simply observe that you thought of it and return to the present. You can make a note to yourself to take care of it when you have time and are in a position to do something about it. Until then, remain in the present moment to create more Quality Life Time (QLT). Quality Life Time is created when we reduce the amount of past and future in our 'beingness' and focus our energy and attention on the present. Living in the present is the most effective way to reduce stress, anxiety and fully appreciate all that life has to offer - and it's the only place that life happens.

The awareness and feeling of being alive is one of the greatest gifts we can enjoy. It doesn't take any special training, money, or tools, and everyone can enjoy it where they are - right now.

What do you think? Share your comments below.

Fulfillment

August 7, 2011 by kalani

Remember the feeling of excitement when you experience something for the first time? It might be receiving a gift, going to a place you've never been, or meeting someone new. The state of experiencing 'newness' often sparks our interest and boosts our energy level as we explore and find our way.

The energy we feel when discovering something 'new' is largely a result of being in a state of 'flow,' an in-the-moment awareness that places us 'at the edge' of time. When we are in-the moment, we're not thinking about the past or future and we can take in everything that life offers up as it happens.

Remember the first time you road a bicycle, drove a car, or flew in an airplane? Can you imagine having that feeling again when doing those things? if not, why not? Why do we sometimes find things that once excited us, not as fulfilling? If we're experiencing the same thing, why do we not feel as interested or excited about it?

As humans, we're always looking for something new and novel. Our minds enjoy a mystery, a puzzle, and a problem to solve. We love to figure things out and explore what's new. When we become familiar with something, we tend to 'check it off' in out mind as 'been there done that.' This thinking is at the core of boredom. Boredom is the state of not seeing the amazing world that is right in front of you, largely because you think you already know everything there is to know about it. How odd, given that each day, each moment is new.

If you're bored with the world, chances are the feeling is mutual.

Through repeated exposure to things or ideas, we can become numb to them. We see the same things passing through our awareness and sooner or later, we stop noticing them. We become numb to the reality around us and search for things that are 'new' and 'different.' We ride bicycles, drive our cars, fly in planes, and not only are we often not excited about it, we find things to complain about. "the brakes squeak," "the oil needs changing," "the flight is delayed." When did riding a bicycle, driving a car, and riding in a plane become work? – when you stopped appreciating how amazing it is to have those opportunities.

We take so many things for granted, and sometimes the more we get, the less we appreciate it. We turn a faucet and clean, drinkable water comes out - even hot water. We flick on a switch and light fills the room. We turn a knob and the temperature of the air changes to make us more comfortable. We dial some numbers into a palm-sized device and in a moment, we're talking to someone half-way around the world. Do we show amazement for these miracles each time we experience them? Most people don't, but we certainly are upset when they don't happen!

Think gas prices are high? Want to get more for your money? Here's what you can do: The next time you get in your car to drive, notice how amazing it is that you can actually get into a little box on wheels, press a button, turn some knobs and flick some switches, and find yourself propelled (powerfully) down the road. Remember the feeling of the first time you drove. Renew your appreciation for the current moment in which you are gifted with the opportunity to do it again and again. The driving doesn't change, only your perception of what it means.

By really appreciating the opportunities in your life, you gain fulfillment of that life.

It doesn't matter how many 'new' or 'valuable' things you chase down or capture. Someone can fill a room in their house with money and after the novelty has worn off, after they have taken their tenth 'money bath,' after they have shown all their friends, after they have looked through the door a hundred times, sooner or later it will just be a room full of clutter. It's the not the 'having' that brings fulfillment, but the 'playing of the game.'

Let things pass through your hands, rather than holding on to them. Feel the joy in each moment as life presents you with opportunities and experiences. Appreciate doing everything you do, even if you've done it for years. Experience each time like the first time. It is!

Thoughtfulness Practices:

The next time you use an appliance or tool, take time to appreciate the person who designed it, the person who built it, and the opportunity you have to use it. As you work, imagine NOT having it and be grateful for it.

The next time you ride a bicycle, drive a car, or fly in an airplane, consider how amazing it is to have that opportunity. Think about what it would be like to NOT have it and be grateful. Think about all the people who made that experience possible and thank them in your own way. Live with gratitude for every opportunity you get and your life with be FULFILLING.

What do you relate to most about this article? Share your thoughts below or share it with a friend.

Stories

August 1, 2011 by kalani

You may not realize it, but you think in stories.

The 'events' in our lives are stored in our minds (and to some degree in our bodies as well), able to be recalled and shared through what I call "storying," – the act of reciting past events and thoughts within the context of a conversation.

Maybe you know someone who often thinks and communicates through story. Maybe that someone is you! 'Storying' is quite common and often includes narrative, such as "I said..." and "then she said...,' etc.. It's a way to bring out detail, take the listener into one's world, and convey information. Where storying can become problematic with regards to Thoughtfulness, is when it is done unconsciously, without taking the listener or the context of the conversation into consideration.

What is unconscious storying?

Often, when talking to someone else, there is an exchange of ideas, thoughts, information, etc. This exchange, to be meaningful, follows a logical path from topic to topic, connected through 'bridges' of thought that span various subject matter and address the aspects of the participants.

Because of the power of the associative mind, the process of connecting one thing to another by identifying commonalities between things, ideas, or emotions, it is possible to quickly link to a story that may or may not have relevance in the present context of a conversation.

Something you can try, is to focus your attention on any item in the area where you are right now. Identify one thing, then see what your mind does. If you're like most people, you will be re-minded of at least one past event that involved an associated item. If you tell someone (or yourself) about the events that you associate with that item, you have created a story. Most of us have many stories we can tell about a particular item or idea. They often include times when we were having an emotional peak or valley (since those events tend to be imprinted on multiple levels; cognitive, physical, emotional, spiritual, etc.)

One question we can ask ourselves is: "What is the purpose of my story in this moment?"

Often times, we tell a story simply because we're reminded of it. Sometimes, we even change the subject of a conversation to tell one of our stories. Sometimes we find ourselves waiting for the other person to leave a break in their story so we can tell ours! The process that results in our telling of a particular story has to do with two at least two aspects; 1) our perspective and 2) our orientation.

Perspective is the way we view something. Is the glass half-filled or half-emptied? Orientation is the way we view most things. Is life a struggle or an adventure?

Perspective is shaped by one's knowledge, values, beliefs, and ability to become aware of the many aspects of a thing or idea.A perspective may be broad or narrow. It may be deep or shallow. And it is almost always shaped by our orientation.

Orientation is shaped by combining multiples of the same perspective. Over time, we may choose to view things a certain way. This 'way of seeing' eventually becomes our primary way of seeing, to the point where our compass shifts, "True North" actually moves, and our ability to see the world 'as it is' is all but a fantasy, although ironically, we are often confident in what we see as truth.

Thoughtfulness seeks to re-orient the individual through cognitive mindfulness practices designed to increase functional perspective. Over time, the individual regains his/her orientation with the world and finds peace where there was once conflict and confusion.

How can we become more conscious of our use of story?

Individuals can use a Thoughtfulness Practice to gain insight into their choice of story, which intern will inform positive changes. Noticing associative patterns that result in story choices is the beginning to positive change. Managing one's stories and using them in a respectful manner is one goal of Thoughtfulness.

When we become aware of the forces behind our stories, we gain the capacity to shape our perspective and ultimately, our orientation. When we orient ourselves with the nature of the universe, which is love, we find ourselves, and in that we find both peace and power.

A Thoughtfulness Practice:

When in conversation with someone, note their use of story, paying particular attention to their perspective with regards to what is important to them. Observe how this relates to their overall orientation. Note how you use story, your perspective and orientation. Ask yourself:

- Why did I choose the stories I did?
- What about each story is important to me?
- What effect did my stories have on my emotions?
- What did I learn about my perspective and orientation?
- What would I change the next time to move my orientation in a positive direction?

More about stories

The stories we repeatedly tell ourselves and others about our lives shape and inform the quality of those lives. Some of a person's stories are self-created, but many (more than you might think) are provided to the person from birth. Stories about race, gender, religion, and other traits are embedded by parents, authority figures, and society in general. In some cases, stories about one's family or culture can change one's perspective and orientation to the point where he/she is not fully connecting with people (or the world in general) in an authentic way.

Becoming aware of our inherited and 'borrowed' stories can be a vital step in achieving a state of mindfulness and inner- and outer-peace. Other practices that relate to all types of stories will be addressed in other posts. Stay tuned!

The Functional Mind

July 21, 2011 by kalani

Maintaining a mindful state can be challenging, given all the possible events and situations that have the potential to lead our attention away from the present moment and into the future or past. Even with a solid meditative practice, such as yoga, sitting meditation, playing music, or gardening, mindfulness practitioners are challenged in each moment to remain attentive to the here and now. This is normal and not something to seek to change, for it is the natural state of an active mind to want to do the work of the mind. One of the keys to achieving a higher level of mindfulness is through an understanding and acceptance of the function of the mind.

Everyone is raised with the knowledge that they indeed have a mind. We all know this and we talk about our minds, what they do, how they work, what they are capable of, etc. There have been, and will continue to be, discussions about how the mind processes various types of sensory input and which types of thinking (analytical or creative) take up the 'space' of the mind (which 'side' is used, etc.). While all this might be useful on various levels and at various times, there's something that most people have never been taught, which, when you consider how much we tend to identify with our minds, appears to be a glaring oversight.

Most of us have never been taught how to use our minds.

Using the mind, in this sense, is not referring to the process of thinking, such as in critical or analytical thought processes. It's considering the mind as a tool for thinking, learning about its strengths and weaknesses, and making adjustments in our own thought processes that account for those weaknesses. In other words, we can learn to use our minds to better serve our needs and not get too caught up in the processes of thought that tend to cause confusion and anxiety.

The Roles of the Mind.

The first step in developing the Thoughtfulness Practice of "Functional Mind" is to come to understand the mind not as the self, but as a tool the self may use. Any tool has design and functionality, and while some tools may be used for multiple purposes, there is a range where its functionality is high and applications where it is low or altogether ineffective.

With the "my mind is a tool" concept in place, let us consider three primary functions of the mind. Granted there are many more, but these three will serve our purposes.

1. The Mind Identifies

One of the main roles of the mind is to identify "things" based on the data that is collected through the sense. When we move through the world, the mind is busy categorizing the "stuff" in the environment. It's scanning the visual, auditory, olfactory, and tactile landscape for patterns, shapes, sounds, smells, and textures that will inform us as to exactly "where we are" and "what is around us." This is useful and necessary information for us to navigate, find what we need, and avoid dangers.

When we are born, our "identification system" has almost no way of categorizing anything. We're basically helpless and have to rely on others to keep us safe, fed, and comfortable. We eventually learn to identify things through repetition, language, and finding commonalities between new and previous experiences.

The identification process takes most of us only a few micro seconds in many cases. We don't need to think about wether something is a tree or not, unless it's part of an abstract painting, combined with other things, or a version of a tree that we've never seen before. The identification process happens through what could be thought of as a flow chart, moving from general to specific. When something enters into our senses, our mind begins the identification process, starting with general categories and moving to more specific ones. It might take this form: Object, large, big on top, straight on bottom, branches and leaves, trunk, [Tree], small green leaves, complex branches, acorns on ground [Oak Tree], very large for oak = very old, [Very Old Oak Tree.]

The more details we can process, the more specific our thinking becomes. The more specific our thinking, the greater the potential for cross-referencing it with other data. I'll discuss this in more detail in another article. For the purposes of the current discussion, al that really matters is that we acknowledge the mind's ability to function as an identifier, one that uses a process of progressive categorization, based on prior knowledge and experience.

2. The Mind Associates

Believe it or not, one of the functions of your mind that sets you apart from just about every other animal on the earth, is its ability to make associations. As a tool, your mind makes connections (associations) between just about everything it experiences. An association is made between two or more things when the mind finds similarities, commonalities, and even differences between them. Because people tend to connect two things through making associations (in their mind), such as between races, gender, age groups, sexual orientation, etc., we have developed certain laws that forbid the practice of acting on those associations in certain situations, such as in the workplace or public institutions. Such is the power of the mind to connect two things that might be related in only the most distant of ways.

If we were to create a visual representation of this process, we would call it a 'mind map.' Mind maps have been used and developed to help facilitate the creative process and demonstrate just how many connections the mind can create between a central concept (the starting point) and anything else that could possibly be associated with that concept through finding commonalities. For example, if my central idea is an apple, I could associate that with pie, teachers, computers, the garden of Eden, worms, bobbing, etc. It's easy to continue from their to all sorts of other areas, creating a vast web of bridges between what could quickly include hundreds or even thousands of items and concepts.

It is the associative process that is at the core of understanding the mind as a tool.

Becoming aware of this process is the first step. Using this function of the mind to serve your needs is the second. Not allowing this process to get out of hand and create confusion, conflict, and anxiety is the ultimate goal. For now, let us understand that this process is happening.

3. The Mind Stores and Retrieves.

Of course, when we think about the mind, we think about memory. Our ability to store and recall information is also what sets humans apart from many other life forms. It's not a unique feature, for it could be argued that virtually all manifestations (things) are capable of maintaining some form of memory, whether it be a fossil inside a rock, marks on the bark of a tree, or a thought, an emotion, or even a feeling in the mind/body. Our minds are vast storage areas where the estimated 100 billion* neurons store and maintain the data collected throughout our lives.

Studies have shown that, although most people believe that their memories (stored data) are accurate, this is often not the case. This could be partially due to the fact that every experience is a personal one and that it's very difficult to agree on what happens exactly. Changing memories can also be due to loss or misplacement of data. And, because the mind makes associations between things that it identifies, it will continue to work with stored data, creating new relationships between the things and concepts that exist in its memory banks. This phenomenon, of the mind working in the background, leads to what some call "Aha moments," where a puzzle is suddenly solved, seemingly without conscious effort.

What's importnat to understand when thinking of the mind as a storage tool, is that it is not 100% reliable in all cases. There are instances where data is lost, corrupted, changed, and associated with other data to the point where the original experience or idea is all but lost. Understanding the limits of memory is another key to using the mind as a functional tool.

Within the Thoughtfulness Practice, the practitioner acknowledges the mind as a functional tool, understanding that its main roles are to identify, associate, and store data. To the extent that these functions serve the person and allow him/her to lead a happy productive life, the mind serves its purpose. When these functions are allowed to drive the person's life, unmonitored, unregulated, and without awareness, they can lead to confusion, misunderstanding, and conflict.

One of the goals of the Thoughtfulness Practice is to provide ways for the person to use the mind as a tool, taking advantage of its strengths, while at the same time, understanding its functionality, limitations, and weaknesses.

* retrieved on 7-21-2011 from: http://hypertextbook.com/facts/2002/AniciaNdabahaliye2.shtml

Seeing as New

July 2, 2011 by kalani

You wake up, roll out of bed, and go thorough your morning routine–often without thinking much about what you are doing. In a way, you're on auto-pilot. It's not that you're not paying attention or present, it's just that everything is so familiar, it doesn't require much attention to get it done.

The same quality of attention might apply to getting to work or getting into your day. You drive, take the bus or train, you get to your destination just fine and begin your day. Much of your work, you find easy, so you do it without thinking much. Most of your attention might actually be on daily news pr whatever is happening that doesn't happen on a daily basis.

When you're finished with work, you may your way home without any trouble. You've done it many times before so you spend your time thinking, day dreaming, or resting. At home you have an evening routine that might be similar to your morning routine, with the possible exception of social engagements. You might go out with your partner or meet friends after work. For the most part, you are doing things that require little effort and attention.

When we are children, the world seems to hold an almost magical spell on us. What most adults would find all too ordinary, children find fascinating. A small inset crawling on the ground, a dripping faucet, the way the light comes through the trees, and creates shadow puppets on the wall.

Why do our lives often seem to lack this magical feeling as we get older? Is this simply part of growing up or is there a way to retain the feeling of excitement while we also make our way through the work week? The later is possible if we learn a skill that will ensure that we never loose that magical feeling we had as a child. It's called "Seeing as New."

What happens as part of the learning and living process, is that we learn to identify things based on associations and categorization. We learn to see something as belonging to a certain group of things, such as trees, cars, and even types of people. Our minds to this automatically, probably to free up space for other tasks, such as attending to a current activity or simply to lower overall mind power used.

The upside of this process (categorization through association) is that our loves become somewhat streamlined. We don't need to spend a lot of time and energy trying to figure out what is going on, identifying things, learning about things, and making sure that a thing really is what we think it is. We are able to quickly "check off" things as we encounter them. "Oh yes, that's grass. That's a dog. That's a bus. Those are school children. Those are staff people. etc."

Do you see the problem with this way of processing? We don't actually see and experience what is there. We experience what we think is there. We don't experience life as it is. We experience it as we have come to know it. The reality is: You have never experienced this moment before–and you have never seen the world as it is right now. When you see a tree, you have never seen that tree before, although your mind might try to tell you that you have. Your mind will say "Yes. yes. yes. I've seen that a million times. It's the tree that is in front of my house." Your mind is trying to save you the time and energy it would take to really see it - in this moment, which would be an amazing experience.

Imagine seeing that same tree that you walk by everyday though the eyes of a child. How might you feel if you really looked at the leaves, the bark, the patterns in the branches, the solid trunk, the way the roots blend into the earth–what an incredible masterpiece! Not only is it a masterpiece, but it's dynamic. It's never been the way it is right now–and neither have you. You are seeing the tree for the first time–literally. And, if it could see, would be seeing you as you have never been before. The two of you are new in every passing moment. Is this not true?

With this newness in mind. Is it reasonable to consider the tree as something unique and mysterious? Isn't this the reality? It's not the tree that your mind might tell you it is. It's not even the tree that you saw the day before. It's a unique life form that you are seeing for the very first time–every time.

Now, imagine how many things in your life that you are not really seeing, but rather "checking off" as "seen it." How much of your day are you not really experiencing because your mind is sure that it's seen it before? Probably a lot. Imagine how rich and magical your life could be is you saw everything as new, as the amazing dynamic creation that it is.

What happens often, is that we apply the "know it already" thinking to not only the things in our lives, but the people as well. We think that we know someone because we have some past experiences with them. We even expect them to behave a certain way, based on past experiences, or even experiences with people who are similar (able to be grouped together with that person, based on some criteria). We often treat people as if we know "what they're all about" based on our perception of them as part of any number of different groups within which our associating mind has placed them. We miss out on seeing them as they are.

The secret to experiencing a dynamic, exciting, and "magical" life, is to ignore the "seen it" messages that our minds send us and to see for ourselves. When we really look and experience something as it is, rather than as we think it is, we reclaim the potential to have moment-to-moment magic in our lives, to find that same wonderment that kept our attention as a child, and to have authentic and rich connections with all other beings.

The Practice:

Take time to see something as new. Remind yourself that you have never seen the world as it is right now. Look, listen, feel, smell, taste, and sense what is happening from moment to moment. When your mind tells you that you've "see this or that before," say "perhaps, but I want to experience this for myself, right now." Remember that your mind is only trying to help, but that sometimes, you're better of saying "no thank you. I'll take this one on my own." Deepen your life experiences by pausing to really see something or someone for what or who they are in this moment. See them as new and resist the temptation to clump them into groups of the familiar. They are not– and neither are you.

This Thoughtfulness Practice of "Seeing as New" can be applied to any situation to increase appreciation and wonderment for all that life has to offer. Practice it from your first waking moments until you set you head down to rest. See the world through a child's eyes and experience yourself as new.

What do you think? Share your thoughts and ideas below.

Feeling the Feeling

June 29, 2011 by kalani

You're laying in bed, trying to fall asleep. It's already been an hour since you turned out the light and your mind is racing. You feel awake and even energized. Sometimes you even feel more energetic than you did at bedtime. You begin to worry about not getting enough sleep and feeling tired the next day, which only seems to add to your anxiety. What is it? Why is this happening? - You ask yourself. You scan your mind for something specific, something to tie to this state, a reason for feeling this tension, but you can't come up with anything that seems that important.

If this sounds familiar, even if it only happens once in a while, read on.

What is happening in this situation, is that you are having a physical response to mental activity. You are thinking yourself into an excited state. You're probably aware of that, but you might not know how to manage the process, otherwise you would!

What we often try to do when we find ourselves in the above situation, is 1) try to find the 'reason' for our overactive mind, and 2) participate in relaxation exercises to help ourselves fall asleep. While there's no harm in doing either of these, neither of them effectively addresses the main issue, which is that something is happening inside our bodies that we can't seem to manage. Finding the 'reason' for the tension might make you feel better in that you were able to link it to something identifiable, but it probably won't make the actual feeling go away. Approaching it from a somatic (body) process, might help for a few minutes, but it doesn't address the source, only the symptoms.

There's another way. It's called "Feeling the Feeling."

Feelings are the bridge between the mind and the body. We have them based on our thoughts and also based on what happens to our bodies. We can have them as a part of a memory or by themselves - possibly triggered due to an unconscious thought (memory). What's important in times of anxiety, is not that we are able to find reasons or remedies for our pain, but that we connect to it. Yes! connect to it. Rather than telling ourselves that something is wrong, which only tends to add to our suffering, do the opposite.

Invite the feeling into your body. Why? Because feelings are there for a reason. Feelings are meant to be felt. That is their way of moving through the body. When we suppress them or have an aversion to feeling them, they tend to stay where they are and nothing much changes. When we "invite the feeling in" what often happens is that it simply dissipates. I realize that this seems counterintuitive. You might think that by focusing on the feeling, it would only grow and become unbearable, but more often than not, the opposite is true.

When a feeling is invited into the body, to be fully felt, it's like allowing someone tell you something they've been wanting to tell you. Have you ever just wanted someone to listen to you - without interrupting, judging, or rebutting your words? When we can "speak our mind" we often feel a great sense of relief. Often, we're not really looking for a solution to a perceived problem, but just to be heard, to get it out. Well, it's the same for your body, except in this case, it's an aspect of yourself that needs you to listen. Rather than the message coming to you through words, it comes in the form of a feeling, the body's language.

When we accept our bodies request to be heard by 'Feeling the Feeling,' the energy that was surrounding that need usually evaporates with the expression. This is why it's important to not only allow the feeling to exist, but to actually invite it in. To say to it, as one might say to a child, "It's OK. What is it? You can tell me." When we show ourselves this kind of tenderness, and understanding, we enter a state of compassion, and through that state, we become wholehearted.

In order to invite the feeling in, we need to be vulnerable, to be open to not knowing the reason, and possibly not having a solution. When we push feelings down and out of our way, we only move them aside temporarily. Because our bodies and minds are resilient and complex, we can do this for some time, but eventually 'unfelt feelings' will manifest in various forms, such as general anxiety, rashes, impatience, and even anger (often related to feelings of a loss of control).

Your Practice:

When you find yourself awake when you would rather be sleeping, ask yourself: "Is there a feeling of energy in my body?" Scan your body in search for anything that feels like it has a charge. Feelings can be anywhere, but they often reside in the chest, abdomen, back, and/or neck. If you don't feel anything specific, just feel the sensation of scanning your body. Feel the feeling of being. Remember to 'invite' the feeling into your body, rather than wishing it were gone. Imagine you are talking to a person (a child perhaps) and think "Yes? What is it? How can I help you?" Let the 'energy' know that "It's OK. You are safe here." Continue to focus on the feeling and have deep compassion for it, as if it were an injured animal that has found its way to your door. Show it love and understanding.

What is really happening?

Through "Feeling the Feeling" we are able to allow expressive precesses to release those energies that are holding us in a nervous state. It's not necessary to know exactly what the feeling was about, only to allow it to be felt. When we show compassion for these parts of ourselves, we embody love and we see ourselves as we truly are. When we see and accept ourselves as we truly are, we often experience a great sense of connection and calm - an aspect of love.

Try this practice and let us know what you discover. Share your questions, thoughts, and insights below.

The Path to Mindfulness

June 27, 2011 by kalani

Mindfulness, the practice of conscious attention to the present moment while maintaining a non-judgmental mindset. This mind state has been to focus of Eastern practitioners for centuries and in recent years, has been of increasing interest in the West, as more and more people search for effective tools to help them cope with and manage what seems like an ever-increasing pace of life.

Neuroscience is examining the effects of conscious thought on people from all walks of life, including those who participate in various psychological therapies and those with specific needs. Studies are beginning to show that there can be measurable benefits from engaging in specific types of meditation practices, many of which include elements of mindfulness. It turns out that our minds are more plastic and receptive to conditioning than previously imagined. By actively participating in various thought processes, we can change our mental and emotional orientation, thereby increasing the quality of our thoughts and our lives. There are many different applications and approaches that incorporate and support mindfulness. Thoughtfulness is one of these approaches.

The Thoughtfulness Approach includes a collection of related practices. Thoughtfulness is based on several assertions that form the foundation of the approach. Some of these include:

The mind is a mechanism that decodes, associates, categorizes, stores, and retrieves data.
The mind produces myriad thoughts that are available for consideration, interpretation, and application.
Thoughts may be categorized according to their type, relevance, and usefulness.
Thoughts may be applied, discarded, stored, or transformed.
Thoughts often produce emotions, which are processed in a way similar to that of data.
Emotions are often felt in the body and may be processed in a number of different ways.
The mind/body is an empathetic system, and responsive to external conditions.
Thoughts and emotions are often over-associatioed and may result in misperceptions and dysfunctional thinking.
Dysfunctional thoughts and emotions may be cleared from the mind/body through the use of phycho-somatic processes, without the use of drugs or invasive procedures.
The tools one needs to effectively manage one's thoughts are universally available, regardless of race, gender, age, socio-economic status and spiritual or religious belief systems.
The Thoughtfulness Practice may be used in conjunction with spiritual and religious systems.

When practiced on a regular basis and with conscious attention, Thoughtfulness has the potential to reduce time spent in states of worry, anxiety, isolation, loneliness, anger, bitterness, depression and fear. Thoughtfulness has the potential to increase enjoyment, raise self-esteem, increase productivity, elevate mood, improve sleep, boost energy levels, and increase a general sense of wellbeing.